Today I talked to one of those people that make you feel like you're doing nothing with your life. Do you know who I mean? They are wonderful people, and I love them, but they are just so amazing and do so much with their lives that you just feel, uh, lazy. And I just don't understand how they do it. How do they have the time or the money or the energy to make so many things happen? I want to be amazing like that. I want to make the most of my life. Why can't I seem to make it happen?
Let's see, oh yeah, well, for some reason I have had trouble committing to things; that kind of is a problem when you want to do something with your life or commit to learning or doing something.
Also, having too many plans or options for plans really stresses me out. And I can usually manage stressful situations, but it's hard for me to want to seek them.
Both of these things kind of come from me not wanting to miss anything. What if I have committed to go help at something, and then a friend calls and wants to do something. I really value relationships, so that feels more important to me most of the time, and I know that I'm allowed to say no, and I know it shouldn't be hard, but it is.
There are probably other things too, like, I'm probably just being lazy, and I feel like the only solution to that is just to stop.
So, what is my plan now? Maybe I'll just try committing to one amazing thing. One little amazing thing. I can do that, right? Now I just have to decide what. And honestly, I'm really leaning toward becoming better at the piano, especially since I'll be home for the summer. This will take some pondering.
Thanks crazy cool person who makes me feel lazy! Maybe I'll be a better me because of you.
