So, over the past few weeks, thanks to Heavenly Father's inspiration through a priesthood blessing and a visit to the temple and other study, I know that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. And that doesn't mean everything will be perfect because that's not how life goes, but I think that what it does mean is that it's ok for me to seek for happiness. I also have had so many people around me who have not been happy, and it makes me feel bad to be happy in front of them, but this knowledge that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy makes me feel like it's also ok for me to choose to be happy, even if nobody around me is choosing to be happy. And maybe by trying to be happier myself, I can help them be happier too.
As I've been thinking so much about happiness, I've been thinking about how I want to be someone who sees the beautiful, someone who can look at a dry desert and see the cool cactus or the beautiful symmetry and color in the world. I want to be someone who sees a person who is maybe a little strange, and sees how they have amazing talents and gifts. There have been times in my life where I think I've seen the world this way, but it felt very natural. But now I think, I need to choose to see. Even though it takes more work, I feel so empowered to know that I can make this choice. I can choose to see the beautiful. And I will. This is my goal.
So what does this mean for me? What am I to do when people around me are complaining or being negative? I know that they are loved and their thoughts and concerns are important because they have value, but maybe instead of embracing all of the negativity in my own heart, I can see how these concerns can help us make things better. Maybe I can see how maybe there's something good within all of the messiness. Maybe I can see how these wonderful people in my life are trying their best in their lives.
One thing that I've always loved is when people are performing a musical number at church and they mess up. That's kind of a ridiculous thing to love, right? But I just love it. Almost always, these people are trying their best to make the church meeting better, to help the members in the congregation feel the spirit. Or maybe they're just trying because they were asked to. Any way they are trying, I just find it so endearing and heartfelt. It always makes me think about how we aren't perfect, and that is why Christ came to help us. That is why we need to rely on the atonement. And I just think that this reminder and the wonderful way people are trying is so beautiful. I want to be and feel this way about other things. Rather than focusing on how something is bad, I want to focus on how things are wonderful. Does that mean that I'm ignoring problems and allowing things to become stagnant when change could make things so much better for people? I hope not. Maybe I'll need to find a balance as I go. But I do know that I need to make this choice to see the beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I'll be able to see how things can be changed to become even more beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I will be able to help bring more happiness to my life and then to the lives of those around me.
This is the me I want to be: I choose to see the beautiful.
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