I Believe in Jesus Christ

I never want to be preachy or do things that push people away. I do not want people to feel that I am pushing them to believe what I believe, but I do want to share my beliefs. I want people to know that I believe in hope and that I believe that hope and love and joy and peace come through Christ.

This week I have felt such an overwhelming love of Jesus Christ. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So, I would also be called Mormon. I have been trying so hard over the past little while to be a better person, to be closer to my Heavenly Father. I have been trying to be diligent at scripture study and at prayer and at being kind and giving and at really doing what I feel like God wants me to do. It's amazing how such a little effort on my part can bring such an overflow of beauty to me. It reminds me of a quote that's on my mom's fridge. I can't find the wording that her quote says, but it's essentially the same as this from Melvin J. Ballard, "A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return." I feel like my small efforts have brought me closer to God and helped me feel of his love for me and see his hand in my life. It's incredible. But I don't really want to really talk about that right now. I mainly want to talk about my testimony of Jesus Christ.

I often get the song "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" stuck in my head, more the lyrics than the tune. The words so reflect how I feel about Christ. I especially love the first part: "I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!" I do know that my Redeemer lives, and here is why it gives me comfort and joy: I believe that the atonement of Jesus Christ is real, and because of the atonement, I can become better and I can put my failures behind me. I am often a major perfectionist. I sometimes become stressed out if I can't do things perfectly, or I worry that I am not making the most perfect decision possible. When I feel so stressed and worried about doing things perfectly, it immobilizes me. But the atonement of Jesus Christ gives me strength. I know that God is helping me in my life, and I know that if I do have a terrible failure, I can come back to God and to Christ, and I can be redirected. And because of the atonement, I can repent. And when I repent, it's as though my failure is gone. It's like starting fresh. When I remember Christ, I become remobilized. I feel like I can move forward.

I do not have a perfect understanding of things, of Christ, of the gospel, of so, so much. But I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know that when I am closest to the gospel, I feel extra support and strength. I feel this ability to move forward that I struggle with when I am not as close to the gospel. There are certainly days or weeks when I doubt, but there are other times when I feel Christ is so close. As I learn more of Christ and of the gospel, I am filled with peace--my stresses feel manageable, my future feels more hopeful, and I feel more happy. Sometimes those feelings don't even come right away, but if I keep trying to be close to Christ, they eventually come.

"I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!"