Ramblings

So, I feel like my heart has been on the tender side lately. And by that I mean that I feel like I'm sensitive, but I also feel like beautiful things have been really touching my soul, and I've been marveling a lot. I kind of feel baffled and amazed when people are nice to me. I also have been needing a lot of sleep, but that may be entirely unrelated.

I recently reactivated my Provo library card. I was so excited! I didn't get there until an hour before they closed, but I renewed my card, then spent time wandering and picking up random books off the shelves and reading the backs (or the first paragraphs) to see if I wanted to check them out. I had forgotten how much I love libraries. I held off from checking out all the books, but it was definitely a temptation. Unfortunately, I haven't even had as much time to read as I'd hoped, but I'm going to finish at least a couple of the ones I checked out! 

School. This last week was probably on the same level of busyness between school, work, and other obligations as when I was doing my grad program full time. How on earth did I manage that schedule for four months? And the nearly-that-busy four months after that? I'm finding it really hard to make the time for school. I feel like I work, and then I'm so done with computers and sitting around. Oy. But I'm going to try to do better this week. 

I'm going to be an aunt!!!!!! Yep, that's right! My sister is pregnant! I am so excited! She is so excited! This is just going to be really great! April is going to be the best. And speaking of children, my cousin's new baby is adorable. She was born very early and is so tiny. I have been so happy to see my cousin and her family more over the last few weeks. 

I really like October, and I am so happy for it to be this month. I think I'm going to a corn maze with some friends in a week or two, and I went to a play of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow this week, and I went to an opera! And I'm just really excited for Halloween and all of the upcoming holidays. 

I feel like over the last year, I've become a little more selfish, and that is not something I want to be. So I'm really trying to love more. I feel like loving others has become harder for me than in the past. I used to give love so much more freely. But I think I was trying to protect my heart for a while there, so I wasn't giving much love. But I want to be a bit better and love a bit more. Isn't that the focus of life? At least, I think it is. 

I think life is pretty good these days. I'm trying to simplify so that I don't feel so stressed, and I'm trying to love and open my heart more. I also am remembering a lot of the things I truly love, and I'm trying to incorporate those things into my life more. Because I remembered a couple weeks ago that when I am feeling happy, I'm better able to look outward and love and serve others. I think it's a funny line to walk, the whole taking care of myself thing but also not being selfish. If anyone has any tips on that, I'm very open to them. 

Well, that's all I'll write for now. But, happy October, world!

Edit: Also, apparently this is my 100th published post! I've only had this blog for years and years, but 100 is still exciting, right!?