Today I talked to one of those people that make you feel like you're doing nothing with your life. Do you know who I mean? They are wonderful people, and I love them, but they are just so amazing and do so much with their lives that you just feel, uh, lazy. And I just don't understand how they do it. How do they have the time or the money or the energy to make so many things happen? I want to be amazing like that. I want to make the most of my life. Why can't I seem to make it happen?

Let's see, oh yeah, well, for some reason I have had trouble committing to things; that kind of is a problem when you want to do something with your life or commit to learning or doing something.
Also, having too many plans or options for plans really stresses me out. And I can usually manage stressful situations, but it's hard for me to want to seek them.
Both of these things kind of come from me not wanting to miss anything. What if I have committed to go help at something, and then a friend calls and wants to do something. I really value relationships, so that feels more important to me most of the time, and I know that I'm allowed to say no, and I know it shouldn't be hard, but it is.
There are probably other things too, like, I'm probably just being lazy, and I feel like the only solution to that is just to stop.

So, what is my plan now? Maybe I'll just try committing to one amazing thing. One little amazing thing. I can do that, right? Now I just have to decide what. And honestly, I'm really leaning toward becoming better at the piano, especially since I'll be home for the summer. This will take some pondering.

Thanks crazy cool person who makes me feel lazy! Maybe I'll be a better me because of you.

Yesterday, I was working from home. I was sitting at my desk in my bedroom, and unfortunately, I was really mad at some people. And I really wanted to let it go. I wanted to forgive and be happy and love. But it just was not happening. I was mad. I felt that they had wronged me and I felt hurt.

I was listening to my Les Miserables pandora station, and I was singing along and loving it, but some songs that were coming on were about people being angry, and I just couldn't handle any more anger, so I scrolled through my many pandora stations to look for something a little more peaceful. I decided on my Mormon Tabernacle Choir station. Now, I love being at church and singing hymns, a whole lot, but honestly, sometimes listening to church-type songs is not the most exciting thing to me. I love the gospel and I love music, but I guess I'm just picky about what music I like to listen to.

However, listening to church music was really wonderful this time. I had been working for a few hours with this music playing, and I suddenly realized that the music had really brought the spirit into my room. I felt so much peace and hope. And although I still felt mad, I felt like I would be able to forgive. I started looking at the situation that had upset me more objectively. It was really a wonderful thing.

I guess I just wanted to say that music about Christ and his life and his gospel and about things that are uplifting can really bring the spirit. I know it.

If you have any questions about what I believe, visit the http://mormon.org/ website. I love it!

Snow

I just think snow is a most wonderful thing!

I know lots of people grumble over its existence, but I definitely don't. It's like a piece of heaven floating down from the sky. It's beautiful and peaceful. I love how it gets all sparkly and bright. I love the night sky when it's snowing or about to snow. I love the crunchy sound that snow makes when you walk on it. We haven't had much snow this year. But it's snowing today, and it makes me happy!

I should probably celebrate it while we have it: perhaps tonight calls for some sledding.

Missing

How can I just be going along with life pretty normally and then boom! I miss tons of people--not just one or two people, no, like 80 people?

Ok, maybe not quite that many. But it is a little disorienting and it's so many people (right now I can think of 12). It's such strong missing that I want to make anything happen in order to see these people, but since they live in at least five different places (that I can think of right now), it kind of makes it difficult. Oh well, I guess I'll have to visit some of them and make do with phone calls or other communication with others. Maybe I should send them cards! Hmm, that's always fun.

Highlights of 2011

So, yes, I may possibly be a month and half late on writing this post, but I still wanted to write about the wonderful things of 2011. It was a pretty great year, a bit challenging, but the challenges taught me a lot. Some things that I always want to remember from 2011 are

• I was hired at Western Governor's University as an editor. I am loving it.
• Lauren, Jordan, and I went to Alaska and stayed with Lauren's family. We went dog sledding, went to Micaley's school musical, and did tons of other fun things!
• I bought my car, Ronald.
• Jordan, Lauren, Tyler H, and I went to the health and healing expo.
• I helped Kaylee move back home for the summer. My car was so full! It was hilarious.
• Lauren and I had a summer of veggies. We did a CSA through Bell Organic Farms, so every week we had tons of veggies and were able to try new veggies. It was delightful.
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
• Jackson Hole is always the best. Lauren L came with us for the first few days. We went to the figure 8/demolition derby one of the nights, and it was so, so fun. One of the best nights of the year. Nick, Kaylee, Lauren, and I all would choose which car we wanted to win the round, and then we'd cheer them on. I think Nick was the champion. We also went on lovely hikes.
• Tim McGraw concert,
• Josh Groban concert of loveliness. I went with my mom, and it was amazing! Josh's voice is beautiful, and he's kind of hilarious. His opening act was really cool too. I don't remember his name, but he played the piano in a new way.
• Lava, Kaylee, Nick, and I went to the aquarium kind of as a final party before Kaylee left for school again. It was really fun.
• Lauren and I went paragliding.
• I ate very healthily and learned more about natural health, which I love.
• I went to St. Louis to visit my friend Tasha. She showed me around, we ate tons of delicious food, and we just enjoyed hanging out with each other. Love her!
• Oh! and that was my first time traveling alone both ways of the trip. I left out of and came into Provo airport. It is so tiny and cute.
• Halloween was fun. I was little red riding hood and my roommates and I went to our multi-ward dance.
• The holidays went by so fast. I didn't quite get to do everything I wanted to, but there is always next year, aka this year!

I know there are more things, and so this list may grow as I remember them. This year is going to have a lot of changes, but it's going to be good!

My Nana always makes up rhymes for each year. I haven't heard what it is this year, but I'm going to say that my rhyme for the year is Improve and Enjoy Myself in 2012. It doesn't quite rhyme, and it's a bit wieldy, but that's what it is.

p.s. I forget how much I really love lists until I write one again. I just love them.