So, I do not have a smart phone, and for the most part, I actually like it that way. However, there is one thing I do not like. I've noticed lately that there are things where if you show on your phone that you have "liked" something on facebook, you can do or receive certain things, but if you don't have a smart phone, you're just out of luck.

Similarly, I want to start going to some classes at the rec center near me. I went and looked up their class schedule, and it said to register for classes on the app. And then it gave a website where you could also register. However, the website didn't work. I even called the rec center asking what to do, and the person I spoke to was not very helpful. She gave me the web address and a similar web address, but I was on my computer and tried it all and nothing worked. I asked if I can just show up to classes, and she said yes but that I might not be able to get in if it's full. It just makes me sad. I don't think everyone should be expected to have a smart phone. I know I'm in the minority of all my friends, but I still don't think it should be expected.

Mini-rant ending now.

Quick Thought about a Favorite Story

So, as was mentioned in a previous post, I love Les Miserables. I think it's such a beautiful story. But for the last little while, I've been wondering why Victor Hugo includes all of these deep and beautiful and tragic human relationships, but then the love story between Cosette and Marius feels shallow and cliche. I'm not done with the book yet (I know, I know . . . . I am taking my time), so maybe it gets deeper in the book, but even still, that relationship confused me. However, as I was thinking about some of the themes of the story this afternoon, I had this thought: maybe the story needed to include examples of all kinds of love. Fantine had romantic love, but then that guy turned out to be a major jerk. And the story has beautiful friendships and parent-child and leader-follower relationships. But the story needed an example of the sweet romantic relationships that can exist. And, of course they take work, but they can be beautiful. And the inclusion of this relationship makes the story feel more complete to me now. It makes me love it even more.

I Believe in Jesus Christ

I never want to be preachy or do things that push people away. I do not want people to feel that I am pushing them to believe what I believe, but I do want to share my beliefs. I want people to know that I believe in hope and that I believe that hope and love and joy and peace come through Christ.

This week I have felt such an overwhelming love of Jesus Christ. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So, I would also be called Mormon. I have been trying so hard over the past little while to be a better person, to be closer to my Heavenly Father. I have been trying to be diligent at scripture study and at prayer and at being kind and giving and at really doing what I feel like God wants me to do. It's amazing how such a little effort on my part can bring such an overflow of beauty to me. It reminds me of a quote that's on my mom's fridge. I can't find the wording that her quote says, but it's essentially the same as this from Melvin J. Ballard, "A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return." I feel like my small efforts have brought me closer to God and helped me feel of his love for me and see his hand in my life. It's incredible. But I don't really want to really talk about that right now. I mainly want to talk about my testimony of Jesus Christ.

I often get the song "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" stuck in my head, more the lyrics than the tune. The words so reflect how I feel about Christ. I especially love the first part: "I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!" I do know that my Redeemer lives, and here is why it gives me comfort and joy: I believe that the atonement of Jesus Christ is real, and because of the atonement, I can become better and I can put my failures behind me. I am often a major perfectionist. I sometimes become stressed out if I can't do things perfectly, or I worry that I am not making the most perfect decision possible. When I feel so stressed and worried about doing things perfectly, it immobilizes me. But the atonement of Jesus Christ gives me strength. I know that God is helping me in my life, and I know that if I do have a terrible failure, I can come back to God and to Christ, and I can be redirected. And because of the atonement, I can repent. And when I repent, it's as though my failure is gone. It's like starting fresh. When I remember Christ, I become remobilized. I feel like I can move forward.

I do not have a perfect understanding of things, of Christ, of the gospel, of so, so much. But I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know that when I am closest to the gospel, I feel extra support and strength. I feel this ability to move forward that I struggle with when I am not as close to the gospel. There are certainly days or weeks when I doubt, but there are other times when I feel Christ is so close. As I learn more of Christ and of the gospel, I am filled with peace--my stresses feel manageable, my future feels more hopeful, and I feel more happy. Sometimes those feelings don't even come right away, but if I keep trying to be close to Christ, they eventually come.

"I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!"

Wonderful Summer

Oh hey there, blog! Long time no write.

Basically, I've been busy with a fun summer of lots of adventures and an online class and a move. It's been really great!

Hmm, I'm trying to think of some of my favorite parts, but I honestly don't know. I loved the rodeos and the time with my family. I loved the trip to Texas and the Lagoon trip. I loved going to the food truck roundup and also going to get snow cones. I loved the hiking trips and the demolition derby.

Probably my favorite part was the part that's always my favorite part, my trip to Jackson Hole! Jordan was able to join me in Jackson for a little bit. I loved having her there! It was really weird because Kaylee and Chris couldn't come to Jackson this year, and we did miss them a bunch! We still had a lovely time though! I love the beauty up there in northwest Wyoming. I tell people that Wyoming is my favorite state, and they think it's so strange. But every year, I feel so much peace and hope and energy up there in Wyoming. I feel so at home there. This year we saw a bird show and watched Sharknado 2 and went paddleboarding as some newer things. It was a really great time!

Oh! What are these tears!?

Do you ever have a time where you just cry at everything? Happy, sad, amazing, beautiful, etc.? I actually used to cry pretty easily, but now I don't so much, but then about a week and a half ago, I started just crying or almost crying about everything. It's quite the surprise.

But I don't really feel like it's a terrible thing. I'm pretty good about not letting it show, so it doesn't embarrass me too much. And it's kind of hilarious sometimes since I've actually been so stoic for the past one or two years or so.

Yesterday was particularly tearful. I learned that a friend who I've become really close to in the last couple months is going out on a mission, and really soon. A selfish part of me was sad because I'll miss her, so I had tears about that. Another part of me was just so amazed at how great and impressive she is, so I had tears about that too. Church was really beautiful, so I had tears there. I also just kept feeling like God definitely helped me be in my ward and with certain people in my life for a reason, so, tears. I kept feeling so blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people, and it made me have tears.

Random side comment: I'm not really saying "had tears" to be euphemistic. I just kind of consider "crying" to be where it's more constant. Although I suppose a couple tears in my eyes or falling down my face is still crying, but I see them as having slightly different connotations!

So, back to this amazing people thing. I seriously know so many cool and incredible people! I have kind and loyal friends. I have the best family. I am seriously blessed. Sometimes I wish I could just meet every person ever. I think people are so cool, and even though there are people who make me feel uncomfortable or who I don't want to spend every moment with or who frustrate me, I love meeting people and trying to understand them. I love trying to see different perspectives. I love seeing how people do things differently. People are cool and beautiful. And apparently that makes me cry.