Do you ever have a time where you just cry at everything? Happy, sad, amazing, beautiful, etc.? I actually used to cry pretty easily, but now I don't so much, but then about a week and a half ago, I started just crying or almost crying about everything. It's quite the surprise.
But I don't really feel like it's a terrible thing. I'm pretty good about not letting it show, so it doesn't embarrass me too much. And it's kind of hilarious sometimes since I've actually been so stoic for the past one or two years or so.
Yesterday was particularly tearful. I learned that a friend who I've become really close to in the last couple months is going out on a mission, and really soon. A selfish part of me was sad because I'll miss her, so I had tears about that. Another part of me was just so amazed at how great and impressive she is, so I had tears about that too. Church was really beautiful, so I had tears there. I also just kept feeling like God definitely helped me be in my ward and with certain people in my life for a reason, so, tears. I kept feeling so blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people, and it made me have tears.
Random side comment: I'm not really saying "had tears" to be euphemistic. I just kind of consider "crying" to be where it's more constant. Although I suppose a couple tears in my eyes or falling down my face is still crying, but I see them as having slightly different connotations!
So, back to this amazing people thing. I seriously know so many cool and incredible people! I have kind and loyal friends. I have the best family. I am seriously blessed. Sometimes I wish I could just meet every person ever. I think people are so cool, and even though there are people who make me feel uncomfortable or who I don't want to spend every moment with or who frustrate me, I love meeting people and trying to understand them. I love trying to see different perspectives. I love seeing how people do things differently. People are cool and beautiful. And apparently that makes me cry.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Kindness
Kindness is one of my favorite topics. I love being kind. I love talking about being kind. I love when kindness happens. President Monson's talk in general conference last month included some things about kindness, and afterwards one of my best friends said she was thinking during the talk that I was probably loving it, and I was. The topic of kindness has also been popping up everywhere in my life lately, and I've been thinking about it a lot, so I just wanted to write out some of my thoughts on kindness.
I'm reading Les Miserables right now, and I love it. A whole crazy lot.
I already have loved the musical for years and years, but as I've been reading the book, I love how much depth Victor Hugo gave the characters. You get to see so much about the characters that you come to understand the motivations behind their actions, and even though many of the characters make some rather poor choices or are rather unkind themselves, you have a sort of empathy for the characters even in making those choices. You see why they make those choices. As I've been reading and thinking about the story, I've thought that it would be a little easier to be kind if we could see the motivations behind people's decisions in real life. However, I really don't feel like we do have this view. Maybe in some cases we do have a fairly clear view, but we are not the other person. How can we understand their point of view when we have all of our own life experiences shaping our view?
I feel like sometimes it feels hard to be kind when I'm mad with someone or maybe if I just don't even think about it and am in a bad mood or tired or something. But being unkind just leaves me grumpy and hurts people. Unkindness does not seem to help people realize that they've made a mistake or help them improve. Unkindness just seems to make people defensive or hurt. And in situations of anger, is that really my job in life to be making a judgement on someone and whether they deserve kindness? I don't think so. I've always been taught to be kind, and I have a personal mission to help people feel peace, hope, and love. Unkindness is not going to help me accomplish that goal.
I don't feel like I'm even conveying what I'd like to convey here, but this is what I feel: It is not my job to judge or be unkind. It is my job to be kind. It is my job to love. God will take care of the rest. I do not know what another person is going through right now or what a person's life has been like, even if I think I do. I'd rather be kind and leave people feeling at least the same as when I met them than be unkind and leave people feeling worse than when I met them. And some people really can seem to just dismiss unkind comments. However, why would I even take that chance.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin was one of my favorite apostles. I don't know if that's really what people should do, choose favorite apostles, but oh well, I did. I love him. He gave so many general conference talks on kindness.
I really love his talk The Virtue of Kindness. I would recommend that anyone read it. I love the way he teaches. When he was alive, I had a professor at BYU ask which talk was my favorite in general conference at that time, and I said Elder Wirthlin's. My professor was surprised. He said that he usually didn't feel like Elder Wirthlin's talks were the most interesting or exciting, but I loved them.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught said, "Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have, if only we are kind?" I love this. We never know when it's a day when someone needs a kind word or a little bit of help. I want to be a little bit kinder. And more than that, since I know that I know how to be kind, I want to make sure I do things that help me be kind, like getting enough sleep. This is my plan.
I'm reading Les Miserables right now, and I love it. A whole crazy lot.
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| Les Miserables: Best story |
I already have loved the musical for years and years, but as I've been reading the book, I love how much depth Victor Hugo gave the characters. You get to see so much about the characters that you come to understand the motivations behind their actions, and even though many of the characters make some rather poor choices or are rather unkind themselves, you have a sort of empathy for the characters even in making those choices. You see why they make those choices. As I've been reading and thinking about the story, I've thought that it would be a little easier to be kind if we could see the motivations behind people's decisions in real life. However, I really don't feel like we do have this view. Maybe in some cases we do have a fairly clear view, but we are not the other person. How can we understand their point of view when we have all of our own life experiences shaping our view?
I feel like sometimes it feels hard to be kind when I'm mad with someone or maybe if I just don't even think about it and am in a bad mood or tired or something. But being unkind just leaves me grumpy and hurts people. Unkindness does not seem to help people realize that they've made a mistake or help them improve. Unkindness just seems to make people defensive or hurt. And in situations of anger, is that really my job in life to be making a judgement on someone and whether they deserve kindness? I don't think so. I've always been taught to be kind, and I have a personal mission to help people feel peace, hope, and love. Unkindness is not going to help me accomplish that goal.
I don't feel like I'm even conveying what I'd like to convey here, but this is what I feel: It is not my job to judge or be unkind. It is my job to be kind. It is my job to love. God will take care of the rest. I do not know what another person is going through right now or what a person's life has been like, even if I think I do. I'd rather be kind and leave people feeling at least the same as when I met them than be unkind and leave people feeling worse than when I met them. And some people really can seem to just dismiss unkind comments. However, why would I even take that chance.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin was one of my favorite apostles. I don't know if that's really what people should do, choose favorite apostles, but oh well, I did. I love him. He gave so many general conference talks on kindness.
I really love his talk The Virtue of Kindness. I would recommend that anyone read it. I love the way he teaches. When he was alive, I had a professor at BYU ask which talk was my favorite in general conference at that time, and I said Elder Wirthlin's. My professor was surprised. He said that he usually didn't feel like Elder Wirthlin's talks were the most interesting or exciting, but I loved them.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught said, "Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have, if only we are kind?" I love this. We never know when it's a day when someone needs a kind word or a little bit of help. I want to be a little bit kinder. And more than that, since I know that I know how to be kind, I want to make sure I do things that help me be kind, like getting enough sleep. This is my plan.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Choosing to see the beautiful
So, over the past few weeks, thanks to Heavenly Father's inspiration through a priesthood blessing and a visit to the temple and other study, I know that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. And that doesn't mean everything will be perfect because that's not how life goes, but I think that what it does mean is that it's ok for me to seek for happiness. I also have had so many people around me who have not been happy, and it makes me feel bad to be happy in front of them, but this knowledge that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy makes me feel like it's also ok for me to choose to be happy, even if nobody around me is choosing to be happy. And maybe by trying to be happier myself, I can help them be happier too.
As I've been thinking so much about happiness, I've been thinking about how I want to be someone who sees the beautiful, someone who can look at a dry desert and see the cool cactus or the beautiful symmetry and color in the world. I want to be someone who sees a person who is maybe a little strange, and sees how they have amazing talents and gifts. There have been times in my life where I think I've seen the world this way, but it felt very natural. But now I think, I need to choose to see. Even though it takes more work, I feel so empowered to know that I can make this choice. I can choose to see the beautiful. And I will. This is my goal.
So what does this mean for me? What am I to do when people around me are complaining or being negative? I know that they are loved and their thoughts and concerns are important because they have value, but maybe instead of embracing all of the negativity in my own heart, I can see how these concerns can help us make things better. Maybe I can see how maybe there's something good within all of the messiness. Maybe I can see how these wonderful people in my life are trying their best in their lives.
One thing that I've always loved is when people are performing a musical number at church and they mess up. That's kind of a ridiculous thing to love, right? But I just love it. Almost always, these people are trying their best to make the church meeting better, to help the members in the congregation feel the spirit. Or maybe they're just trying because they were asked to. Any way they are trying, I just find it so endearing and heartfelt. It always makes me think about how we aren't perfect, and that is why Christ came to help us. That is why we need to rely on the atonement. And I just think that this reminder and the wonderful way people are trying is so beautiful. I want to be and feel this way about other things. Rather than focusing on how something is bad, I want to focus on how things are wonderful. Does that mean that I'm ignoring problems and allowing things to become stagnant when change could make things so much better for people? I hope not. Maybe I'll need to find a balance as I go. But I do know that I need to make this choice to see the beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I'll be able to see how things can be changed to become even more beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I will be able to help bring more happiness to my life and then to the lives of those around me.
This is the me I want to be: I choose to see the beautiful.
As I've been thinking so much about happiness, I've been thinking about how I want to be someone who sees the beautiful, someone who can look at a dry desert and see the cool cactus or the beautiful symmetry and color in the world. I want to be someone who sees a person who is maybe a little strange, and sees how they have amazing talents and gifts. There have been times in my life where I think I've seen the world this way, but it felt very natural. But now I think, I need to choose to see. Even though it takes more work, I feel so empowered to know that I can make this choice. I can choose to see the beautiful. And I will. This is my goal.
So what does this mean for me? What am I to do when people around me are complaining or being negative? I know that they are loved and their thoughts and concerns are important because they have value, but maybe instead of embracing all of the negativity in my own heart, I can see how these concerns can help us make things better. Maybe I can see how maybe there's something good within all of the messiness. Maybe I can see how these wonderful people in my life are trying their best in their lives.
One thing that I've always loved is when people are performing a musical number at church and they mess up. That's kind of a ridiculous thing to love, right? But I just love it. Almost always, these people are trying their best to make the church meeting better, to help the members in the congregation feel the spirit. Or maybe they're just trying because they were asked to. Any way they are trying, I just find it so endearing and heartfelt. It always makes me think about how we aren't perfect, and that is why Christ came to help us. That is why we need to rely on the atonement. And I just think that this reminder and the wonderful way people are trying is so beautiful. I want to be and feel this way about other things. Rather than focusing on how something is bad, I want to focus on how things are wonderful. Does that mean that I'm ignoring problems and allowing things to become stagnant when change could make things so much better for people? I hope not. Maybe I'll need to find a balance as I go. But I do know that I need to make this choice to see the beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I'll be able to see how things can be changed to become even more beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I will be able to help bring more happiness to my life and then to the lives of those around me.
This is the me I want to be: I choose to see the beautiful.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Happy!!
Today I wanted to listen to music that made me happy! Below is a list of the songs I chose to listen to, and this is not to say that there aren't others that make me happy too. These just popped into my head this morning as songs that made me happy!
- Happy by Pharrel Williams
- Compass by Lady Antebellum
- Can't Stand the Rain by Lady Antebellum
- I Run to You by Lady Antebellum
- Wake Me Up by Avicii
- You Can't Stop the Beat from Hairspray
- Without Love from Hairspray
- I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes
- Could It Be by Charlie Worsham
- Just Wanna Be with You from HSM3
- Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
- My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
- Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips
- Chattahoochie by Alan Jackson
- Unbelievable by Diamond Rio
- Wrinkles by Diamond Rio
- Norma Jean Riley by Diamond Rio
I hope everyone has a happy day!
Saturday, April 5, 2014
April General Conference 2014: Day 1
This weekend is General Conference weekend. If you don't know what that is, it is held twice a year, and it's 5 sessions of beautiful music and uplifting talks given by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm fortunate to be able to watch it on tv, but some people go to church buildings or read the talks later. I always love conference weekend!
That was a long introduction for not having much to say, but one thing I heard today has been sticking with me ever since I heard it, and I just wanted to put it in words. Elder Zwick spoke and said something to the effect that God cares about what I am thinking. Maybe one reason this stuck with me so much is this is something I actually have sort of thought a lot about this year. I used to feel like I should be kind of proper in my prayers, but now I feel like God already knows what I am thinking and wants to hear from me, so I can pray to him about anything. He really cares about every part of my life--not just some parts! This has made my prayers more meaningful. And I'm so glad that I had a reminder today to strengthen this concept for me.
That was a long introduction for not having much to say, but one thing I heard today has been sticking with me ever since I heard it, and I just wanted to put it in words. Elder Zwick spoke and said something to the effect that God cares about what I am thinking. Maybe one reason this stuck with me so much is this is something I actually have sort of thought a lot about this year. I used to feel like I should be kind of proper in my prayers, but now I feel like God already knows what I am thinking and wants to hear from me, so I can pray to him about anything. He really cares about every part of my life--not just some parts! This has made my prayers more meaningful. And I'm so glad that I had a reminder today to strengthen this concept for me.
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