Kindness

Kindness is one of my favorite topics. I love being kind. I love talking about being kind. I love when kindness happens. President Monson's talk in general conference last month included some things about kindness, and afterwards one of my best friends said she was thinking during the talk that I was probably loving it, and I was. The topic of kindness has also been popping up everywhere in my life lately, and I've been thinking about it a lot, so I just wanted to write out some of my thoughts on kindness.

I'm reading Les Miserables right now, and I love it. A whole crazy lot.

Les Miserables: Best story

I already have loved the musical for years and years, but as I've been reading the book, I love how much depth Victor Hugo gave the characters. You get to see so much about the characters that you come to understand the motivations behind their actions, and even though many of the characters make some rather poor choices or are rather unkind themselves, you have a sort of empathy for the characters even in making those choices. You see why they make those choices. As I've been reading and thinking about the story, I've thought that it would be a little easier to be kind if we could see the motivations behind people's decisions in real life. However, I really don't feel like we do have this view. Maybe in some cases we do have a fairly clear view, but we are not the other person. How can we understand their point of view when we have all of our own life experiences shaping our view?

I feel like sometimes it feels hard to be kind when I'm mad with someone or maybe if I just don't even think about it and am in a bad mood or tired or something. But being unkind just leaves me grumpy and hurts people. Unkindness does not seem to help people realize that they've made a mistake or help them improve. Unkindness just seems to make people defensive or hurt. And in situations of anger, is that really my job in life to be making a judgement on someone and whether they deserve kindness? I don't think so. I've always been taught to be kind, and I have a personal mission to help people feel peace, hope, and love. Unkindness is not going to help me accomplish that goal.

I don't feel like I'm even conveying what I'd like to convey here, but this is what I feel: It is not my job to judge or be unkind. It is my job to be kind. It is my job to love. God will take care of the rest. I do not know what another person is going through right now or what a person's life has been like, even if I think I do. I'd rather be kind and leave people feeling at least the same as when I met them than be unkind and leave people feeling worse than when I met them. And some people really can seem to just dismiss unkind comments. However, why would I even take that chance.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin was one of my favorite apostles. I don't know if that's really what people should do, choose favorite apostles, but oh well, I did. I love him. He gave so many general conference talks on kindness.

I really love his talk The Virtue of Kindness. I would recommend that anyone read it. I love the way he teaches. When he was alive, I had a professor at BYU ask which talk was my favorite in general conference at that time, and I said Elder Wirthlin's. My professor was surprised. He said that he usually didn't feel like Elder Wirthlin's talks were the most interesting or exciting, but I loved them.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught said, "Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have, if only we are kind?" I love this. We never know when it's a day when someone needs a kind word or a little bit of help. I want to be a little bit kinder. And more than that, since I know that I know how to be kind, I want to make sure I do things that help me be kind, like getting enough sleep. This is my plan.

Choosing to see the beautiful

So, over the past few weeks, thanks to Heavenly Father's inspiration through a priesthood blessing and a visit to the temple and other study, I know that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. And that doesn't mean everything will be perfect because that's not how life goes, but I think that what it does mean is that it's ok for me to seek for happiness. I also have had so many people around me who have not been happy, and it makes me feel bad to be happy in front of them, but this knowledge that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy makes me feel like it's also ok for me to choose to be happy, even if nobody around me is choosing to be happy. And maybe by trying to be happier myself, I can help them be happier too.

As I've been thinking so much about happiness, I've been thinking about how I want to be someone who sees the beautiful, someone who can look at a dry desert and see the cool cactus or the beautiful symmetry and color in the world. I want to be someone who sees a person who is maybe a little strange, and sees how they have amazing talents and gifts. There have been times in my life where I think I've seen the world this way, but it felt very natural. But now I think, I need to choose to see. Even though it takes more work, I feel so empowered to know that I can make this choice. I can choose to see the beautiful. And I will. This is my goal.

So what does this mean for me? What am I to do when people around me are complaining or being negative? I know that they are loved and their thoughts and concerns are important because they have value, but maybe instead of embracing all of the negativity in my own heart, I can see how these concerns can help us make things better. Maybe I can see how maybe there's something good within all of the messiness. Maybe I can see how these wonderful people in my life are trying their best in their lives.

One thing that I've always loved is when people are performing a musical number at church and they mess up. That's kind of a ridiculous thing to love, right? But I just love it. Almost always, these people are trying their best to make the church meeting better, to help the members in the congregation feel the spirit. Or maybe they're just trying because they were asked to. Any way they are trying, I just find it so endearing and heartfelt. It always makes me think about how we aren't perfect, and that is why Christ came to help us. That is why we need to rely on the atonement. And I just think that this reminder and the wonderful way people are trying is so beautiful. I want to be and feel this way about other things. Rather than focusing on how something is bad, I want to focus on how things are wonderful. Does that mean that I'm ignoring problems and allowing things to become stagnant when change could make things so much better for people? I hope not. Maybe I'll need to find a balance as I go. But I do know that I need to make this choice to see the beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I'll be able to see how things can be changed to become even more beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I will be able to help bring more happiness to my life and then to the lives of those around me.

This is the me I want to be: I choose to see the beautiful.

Happy!!

Today I wanted to listen to music that made me happy! Below is a list of the songs I chose to listen to, and this is not to say that there aren't others that make me happy too. These just popped into my head this morning as songs that made me happy!

• Happy by Pharrel Williams
• Compass by Lady Antebellum
• Can't Stand the Rain by Lady Antebellum
• I Run to You by Lady Antebellum
• Wake Me Up by Avicii
• You Can't Stop the Beat from Hairspray
• Without Love from Hairspray
• I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes
• Could It Be by Charlie Worsham
• Just Wanna Be with You from HSM3 
• Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
• My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
• Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips
• Chattahoochie by Alan Jackson
• Unbelievable by Diamond Rio
• Wrinkles by Diamond Rio
• Norma Jean Riley by Diamond Rio

I hope everyone has a happy day!

April General Conference 2014: Day 1

This weekend is General Conference weekend. If you don't know what that is, it is held twice a year, and it's 5 sessions of beautiful music and uplifting talks given by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm fortunate to be able to watch it on tv, but some people go to church buildings or read the talks later. I always love conference weekend!

That was a long introduction for not having much to say, but one thing I heard today has been sticking with me ever since I heard it, and I just wanted to put it in words. Elder Zwick spoke and said something to the effect that God cares about what I am thinking. Maybe one reason this stuck with me so much is this is something I actually have sort of thought a lot about this year. I used to feel like I should be kind of proper in my prayers, but now I feel like God already knows what I am thinking and wants to hear from me, so I can pray to him about anything. He really cares about every part of my life--not just some parts! This has made my prayers more meaningful. And I'm so glad that I had a reminder today to strengthen this concept for me.

What has brought me happiness this week?

I've been pondering happiness a lot this week. My roommate and I have been talking a bit about it too.

Although happiness is sometimes not as easy to feel as when I was younger, I feel like joy can often be found if I simply look around. Therefore, I wanted to talk about a few of the things that brought me happiness this week!

• Family: Last Sunday I went up to my parents' house and my whole family was there. It was the best ever. Ever.
• Friendship bread: On Monday, my friend brought me a loaf of friendship bread along with a bag of bread starter. I haven't had this kind of bread in years, but it is so delicious! I ate it slowly throughout the week and loved it. But also, I especially loved seeing my friend Kristen who brought it to me!
• Bad day kindness: I may have had a couple bad days this week. Work and school have been really stressful. However, on one of those days, I mentioned to a couple of my friends that I hadn't had a very good day, and they gave me hugs and invited me to hang out with them and were just so kind. 
• Texts from friends: Being invited to things or being asked what I'm doing tonight makes me feel so cared about. I feel like maybe it's a silly thing. But I know that my top love language is quality time, and I think that just knowing that people want to spend time with me makes me feel very loved. I also love when people text me. This week I got several invites and texts, and it made me happy!  
• Carpool: I mentioned my carpool on here at one point, but I think I managed to wake up for carpool all three days this week, and that was pretty happy, and I also really love my carpool friends. 
• Snow: It snowed during institute on Wednesday. I may have snuck out after learning about the snow and walked around in its beauty for ten minutes or so! 
• Realizations of answered prayers: This week I kept realizing that God answers my prayers, and I also kept hearing stories about God answering prayers. I know he hears and answers prayers. I love prayer!
• Psych: Happy and sad. Psych had the last episode ever this week. I liked how it ended though, so that made me happy. And I loved watching it with friends. 
• Spending time with ward friends: I got to see friends in my ward most of the days this week. I love them.
• Spending time with any friends: I got to see several friends this week. I love them!  
•  BOWLS FOR HUMANITY!: I was so excited for Bowls for Humanity, which is a really cool event where local students and local artists donate pottery and bowls to the Food and Care Coalition and then people can look at the bowls and buy them and eat soup. All of the money goes to charity. I was sad that the whole gang couldn't come this year, but I still had a lot of fun and perhaps spent more than I should have. (Oops! but I really loooove the bowls I bought)
• Music: On one of my bad days this week, I was in a really negative mood, but I had also been planning to audition for a local musical with Miss Lauren L that night. I so did not want to go. I just wanted to go to bed or something. However, after getting home from school, I started practicing for my audition. Singing and music helped pull me at least a little bit out of my negative feelings. Music makes me happy.
• Avatar: I really love Avatar the Last Airbender. When I can, I watch an episode before I get out of bed on Saturday mornings, and I was able to do that this morning! Nerdy, I know.
• Errands with Jordan: This morning my roommate Jordan and I went and got groceries, went to Costco, you know, everyday stuff. But it was really fun. It's not like we were being all energetic or anything, but it was just nice and fun. 

This list is actually longer than I thought it would be, and now I keep thinking of things that I don't want to leave out from the list. However, for the sake of sleep (since I need to go to bed), I will end the list here. Turns out that despite the highly stressful week, there is a lot of good and a lot of happiness that I can find in my life!