Oh right! I have a blog. I haven't written much on here lately, but I think that's ok. But today feels like a good day for spilling my thoughts out into words.
I've got a summer cold right now. It's been ages since I've had such a thing. It is leaving me in an odd combination of affectionate and emotional and exhausted.
This summer is flying by for me. Anyone else feel the same way? There are so many things I'm wanting to do, but I just haven't had the time to do them all. And I think, "what have I even been doing?" But it's not like I've been lazing about all summer. I have done so many things! And it's been pretty magical in a lot of ways! I also have a whole lot of things lined up for the next month and a half, so that is going to be good!
Since I last wrote, a whole lot of things have happened. I really don't want to make this a big deal, but I also know that very few read my blog, so I think it'll be ok, but I would say the most eventful thing that has happened in the last several months is that I've been dating someone. It had been 9 years since I had dated anyone. I've learned that I have (and had (because I think I've already worked through some!)) a lot of relationship fears that I didn't even realize that I had. Despite my fears and insecurities and occasional dramatics, this guy is really patient with me. He is really kind. He does so much for me, and I didn't even know that someone could be so good and kind. I have so much fun hanging out with him. He makes me laugh and likes to go do fun things with me. I think I could go on gushing for another three or four paragraphs, but I don't want to embarrass him or gross anyone out with gushiness, so I'll move on. I will say though that dating is a very new experience for me. Sure, I dated someone before, but I was still a teenager, and I would say I'm a very different person now. But I've quite enjoyed it.
One thing I haven't done much this summer but that I'm wanting to do more is swim! I love swimming! Luckily, I get to go swimming a bit this coming weekend, but I'll have to try to squeeze in some more before the end of summer!
I also went camping for the first time in years this summer. It has been a long time since I had camped, and I feared I wouldn't like it anymore. Fortunately, I LOVED camping! I would love to go again before the winter arrives. I'm hoping to explore Utah more this year, so I think I will have to do that!
Yuki Shave Ice continues to be a summer best friend. And yes, I go often enough that I am friends with the owner and employees. It's a party. It's just super delicious. It's shaved ice where they make their own syrups out of real fruit. It is the best.
I have not seen or talked to some of my friends as much this summer, and one of my best friends just moved to California, so this is all sad. I do feel immensely grateful for my friends though. A bunch of friends are getting married this summer, and I'm so happy and excited for them!
My ponderings about summer could go on and on, but I'm going to leave this for now to go do something. I hope anyone reading this has a fabulous summer! Summer is a wonderful time!
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Friday, February 19, 2016
Boo to insecure days
So, here I am a grown adult, and I often will have days or stretches of days where I feel vastly insecure. My dear, sweet coworker often ends up hearing about my insecurities, and I so appreciate her kind listening. She reassures me and helps me feel like things are going to be ok. Unfortunately, she is out of town this week, and I also feel bad for always talking to her about this, so today this information goes to the blog.
I don't know if many adults feel this way, or if this is just something that I get to work on in life! But insecure days are not my favorite. I feel insecure about my ability to do my job well but also in my friendships. Fortunately, I have a wonderful family, and I never feel insecure about their love for me. On insecure days, I struggle with feeling like I can do things right, and I worry that I'm a bother to everyone. I even have dreams that feed my insecurity, like last night I dreamt that I was taking gifts to friends, and they were getting mad at me for bringing the gifts.
I generally try pretty hard to fight the insecurity. I try to keep myself busy so that I feel like I am being productive. I try to get enough sleep. I try to have fun with friends. I try to exercise (I'm probably not quite as successful at this one though as I could be). I try to be kind to myself. And I pray. Sometimes these things help a lot, but other times they don't help as much.
I also try not to let my insecurity show very much. I let a few people know, like my coworker, but I try to hide it from most others. I honestly have no idea if I'm very successful at this, but I am so grateful for the patience of my friends who I talk to and the ones I might act stressed around or stick to like a needy puppy.
I want to be a strong and confident woman, and some days I feel like maybe I am, but other days I feel completely derailed. Maybe insecurity is something that can help keep me humble though. And maybe it can remind me to be kind in case others are struggling. If that is the case, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. However, if anyone has any tips for overcoming insecurity, I will welcome those tips.
In general, I feel so grateful for the people in my life and for my job. Even on my insecure days, things go pretty ok because of the wonderful people in my life and because of my boss's belief in me. I am very blessed in my life, and I can't complain too much! And my current insecurity will hopefully be remedied by the vacation I leave for tomorrow! It's going to be wonderful!
I don't know if many adults feel this way, or if this is just something that I get to work on in life! But insecure days are not my favorite. I feel insecure about my ability to do my job well but also in my friendships. Fortunately, I have a wonderful family, and I never feel insecure about their love for me. On insecure days, I struggle with feeling like I can do things right, and I worry that I'm a bother to everyone. I even have dreams that feed my insecurity, like last night I dreamt that I was taking gifts to friends, and they were getting mad at me for bringing the gifts.
I generally try pretty hard to fight the insecurity. I try to keep myself busy so that I feel like I am being productive. I try to get enough sleep. I try to have fun with friends. I try to exercise (I'm probably not quite as successful at this one though as I could be). I try to be kind to myself. And I pray. Sometimes these things help a lot, but other times they don't help as much.
I also try not to let my insecurity show very much. I let a few people know, like my coworker, but I try to hide it from most others. I honestly have no idea if I'm very successful at this, but I am so grateful for the patience of my friends who I talk to and the ones I might act stressed around or stick to like a needy puppy.
I want to be a strong and confident woman, and some days I feel like maybe I am, but other days I feel completely derailed. Maybe insecurity is something that can help keep me humble though. And maybe it can remind me to be kind in case others are struggling. If that is the case, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. However, if anyone has any tips for overcoming insecurity, I will welcome those tips.
In general, I feel so grateful for the people in my life and for my job. Even on my insecure days, things go pretty ok because of the wonderful people in my life and because of my boss's belief in me. I am very blessed in my life, and I can't complain too much! And my current insecurity will hopefully be remedied by the vacation I leave for tomorrow! It's going to be wonderful!
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Favorite Christmas things days 2 and 3--Caroling and friend gifts
Nope, I didn't manage to post yesterday because I was too busy with Christmas celebrations!
Yesterday I successfully went caroling for the first time ever unless I'm forgetting a time! As I suspected, I loved it! It snowed yesterday, so I was all bundled up with a bunch of people in my ward, and we had a great time! We sang Silent Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful, Jingle Bells, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Angels We Have Heard On High, Joy to the World, and We Wish You a Merry Christmas! I really like my ward. It was a lot of fun! And the snow made things exquisitely beautiful.
Also, over the past few days I've been delivering some gifts to some people, and it has turned into a lot of long and lovely conversations. Man I love people! I know I can give gifts at any time of the year, and I do, but it's nice to have a time of year where gift giving is encouraged, so I can have the chance to reach out to some who I haven't seen in a little while.
Yesterday I successfully went caroling for the first time ever unless I'm forgetting a time! As I suspected, I loved it! It snowed yesterday, so I was all bundled up with a bunch of people in my ward, and we had a great time! We sang Silent Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful, Jingle Bells, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Angels We Have Heard On High, Joy to the World, and We Wish You a Merry Christmas! I really like my ward. It was a lot of fun! And the snow made things exquisitely beautiful.
Also, over the past few days I've been delivering some gifts to some people, and it has turned into a lot of long and lovely conversations. Man I love people! I know I can give gifts at any time of the year, and I do, but it's nice to have a time of year where gift giving is encouraged, so I can have the chance to reach out to some who I haven't seen in a little while.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
12 days of Christmas--Favorite things
There are 12 days until Christmas, and I am excited!
I want to post some of my favorite things about Christmas over the next 12 days.
The first thing I want to post about is Handel's Messiah. When I was young, my mom would participate in a community choir that would perform Handel's Messiah every December. We would go hear the choir sing, and we'd often go to the sing-in performance. This is where the audience can sing along with the choir on the chorus songs. It is glorious!
I participated for one or two years myself with my sister in the choir when I was in high school. It was a lot of fun, but those high notes and runs were definitely challenging.
For most of my college years and a few years after, I had kind of forgotten about those Messiah performances because they happened at the beginning of December before I headed back up home. However, three years ago, I remembered, and I really wanted to go. I invited some friends, and it was great fun. Over the past three years, I have gone to the sing-in performances, and this year I went to the one last Sunday up in Draper, but I also went to one on Monday in Provo. Is that overkill? No way.
Last year, Jordan and I went to a play called Joyful Noise that is about Handel and when he wrote the Messiah. It was amazing.
I don't feel I have adequately covered how I feel about this. Whenever I hear songs from Messiah, I smile. I feel like it's the epitome of joy. I think Handel was so inspired. When I hear the songs, I feel love and peace and hope and joy. Especially when I attend the sing-in performances. I just want to hug everyone in the world.
I love this time of year, and this year it gives me hope that maybe the world could be loving. Maybe there's a little something I could do to help.
I want to post some of my favorite things about Christmas over the next 12 days.
The first thing I want to post about is Handel's Messiah. When I was young, my mom would participate in a community choir that would perform Handel's Messiah every December. We would go hear the choir sing, and we'd often go to the sing-in performance. This is where the audience can sing along with the choir on the chorus songs. It is glorious!
I participated for one or two years myself with my sister in the choir when I was in high school. It was a lot of fun, but those high notes and runs were definitely challenging.
For most of my college years and a few years after, I had kind of forgotten about those Messiah performances because they happened at the beginning of December before I headed back up home. However, three years ago, I remembered, and I really wanted to go. I invited some friends, and it was great fun. Over the past three years, I have gone to the sing-in performances, and this year I went to the one last Sunday up in Draper, but I also went to one on Monday in Provo. Is that overkill? No way.
Last year, Jordan and I went to a play called Joyful Noise that is about Handel and when he wrote the Messiah. It was amazing.
I don't feel I have adequately covered how I feel about this. Whenever I hear songs from Messiah, I smile. I feel like it's the epitome of joy. I think Handel was so inspired. When I hear the songs, I feel love and peace and hope and joy. Especially when I attend the sing-in performances. I just want to hug everyone in the world.
I love this time of year, and this year it gives me hope that maybe the world could be loving. Maybe there's a little something I could do to help.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Winter Plans
So, I'm not a winter hater, but I also sometimes struggle in the winter. But this year I've decided that I am highly excited, and I am writing a list of the things I want to do this winter! It's going to be amazing!
- Sledding
- Ice skating
- Cook at least 3 soups out of my soup cookbook and share with friends
- Cook one or two other new dinner recipes
- Bake lots of deliciousness
- Snowshoeing
- Star Wars!!
- Word nerd night (or 2)
- Provo temple open house
- Drink hot chocolate and herbal tea
- Read at least one book a month
- Visit Christmas lights
- Have a photo scavenger hunt
- Go to a musical performance or several
- Go to a play
Honestly, I don't even know if I'll manage to do all of these things, but they are things I want to do, and I am excited to do at least some of them!
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