Let's love a little more, not less

I really ought to be asleep. But I want to sort through something today that bothered me. I want to voice (type) these thoughts.

There have been times when I'm singing along to one of my favorite singers with thousands of people at a concert, and I have been filled with immense love for all of the people present. Do I know them all personally? No. But can I still love them? I think so. I think I can love them for sharing such a fun and unifying moment with me. I can love them for being humans who enjoy good music and who wanted to have some fun.

There have been times when I'm frustrated with a slow driver or a slow walker, and I allow myself to pause and consider that even though I don't know them personally, they have a story that makes them who they are. They are probably doing their best, and they most likely are not trying to frustrate me. I don't know that I love these people perfectly, but I feel like I obtain a measure of love for them as I pause to consider who they may be.

There have been times when I'm in the mountains, walking and thinking, and I consider how people, even mere acquaintances, have affected my life. And I feel love for all of the people in my life.

There have been so many times in my life when I have felt love for both people I know and people I hardly know.

Today in relief society at church, we were discussing how we want our ward's relief society to be. Some people we expressing that they don't want people to be fake. And although I fully support being genuine, I found an example that was given of "fakeness" to be confusing. Some people were saying that they don't like when a ward member will say she loves the women in the relief society because often that person doesn't know everyone individually. Someone suggested that instead of saying, "I love you so much," people should say, "I feel good right now" when talking about those feelings in relief society. I disagree with this. Saying I feel good would feel inadequate in explaining those moments I shared above. I would describe the feeling I have had in those moments as love. And saying that I feel good feels like more of an affirmation of myself and my own feelings than a way to try to build relationships with others. I don't dispute that the ward relief society and the world would be better and more loving if we took time to learn more about each other. I fully support a kinder and friendlier world. But I also don't think we should assume that someone expressing their love for a group of people is being disingenuous. I think having even an ounce of love for someone is something to be encouraged. Yes, we can be better at loving each other as human beings. We can do more than we're doing now. But I think even a little love is a good thing and should be encouraged.

Unexpected

Tonight a surprising thought popped into my head:

Younger you would be happy with where you are at right now. 

This got me contemplating younger me and thinking about how far I've come in life. I don't mean any of this to be arrogant, but this thought was enlightening in helping me feel gratitude for my life and realizing that perhaps I don't need to be quite so hard on myself, so I wanted to write about my thoughts.

Younger me was much more full of love, full of awe, and full of cheer. At least, that's how I remember it. I often long to be able to feel the way I felt when I was younger. I struggle to feel as much joy as I remember feeling in my younger years. Some things felt so much easier then than they do now. However, I do realize I may be misremembering some of this. Perhaps I remember the good more than the bad, but nonetheless, I do hope to one day reacquire some of the strengths I had in my younger years. But the ways I have changed have brought me different skills and strengths.

I think that if a time machine could have had younger me meeting current me, younger me would be surprised that some plans hadn't happened yet. I think younger me would perhaps be disappointed that a few things hadn't happened as planned or hoped. However, I don't think younger me would have been disappointed in me as a person. I think life's difficulties have allowed me to develop greater compassion and empathy for others. I may not as frequently feel that heart-encompassing love that I felt often when I was younger, but I think I am able to love and see people in deeper ways. I think younger me would have been happy that I still love learning and am true to who I am. Younger me would have been surprised and happy at how I've learned to be more assertive. I think younger me would have been happy with who I am dating.

I work as an editor and am good at what I do. I have traveled and have taken a road trip by myself. I explore and love adventure. I have my imagination. I have stayed close to my family and have dear, close friends.

As I pondered this concept tonight, I realized how grateful I am for how my life has turned out. All of my expectations have not been met. All of my dreams have not been fulfilled. But many things in my life have turned out well. I have grown as a person. I have loved. And I am still someone who values kindness and goodness and is true to who I am. I have a long way to go in improving as a human on this earth, and I don't want to stop growing and dreaming. But perhaps if things don't go perfectly as planned, and maybe if there are lots of rocks along the way, it will all be ok. Life isn't going to go along with my plans, but I can still learn and become and be me.

That Glorious Time Called Spring

Guys. Guys!

It's spring! The sun is shining! Flowers are blooming! Waking up is easier! I love spring!

I feel like every year I am startled by how much easier it is for me to be happy when spring arrives. And I am by no means a winter hater. In fact, I adore winter. I think it is beautiful and fun and poetic. It's a beautiful time to set goals and slow down and remember your dreams. But it sure is a lot harder for me to feel happy in winter. And I try. I think that, for the most part, I have a measure of control over happiness, but there are just times when it feels so much easier. When spring arrives, I feel like I've awoken from a gloomy dream. I am able to get over unhappy things more quickly because I can't feel mad or sad or gloomy or glum when I feel the world going from gray to green, at least not for long. I'll miss the snow, which is one of my favorite things, but I sure do love green.

I think I said last year that I felt spring might be replacing fall as my favorite season. And I think right now I'm making it official. Spring is my favorite season. It is hopeful and joyous. (I reserve the right to change my favorite at any future point, however.)

Valentine's Day

I've always been a big Valentine's Day fan. To me, it's not about celebrating romantic love necessarily--it's a day to celebrate all kinds of love! 

In honor of this view on Valentine's Day, here is a list of some things I love: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, dogs, youtube videos showing dogs doing cute things, cookies, random friendly texts, friends wanting to hang out, time spent with Adam, old Rascal Flatts songs, music that you can sing along to, smoothies, good food, cooking, flowers, my family, memories of my favorite place, knowing that a vacation is coming soon, books and time to spend reading, people who are passionate about things but in a kind manner, clean and punny and silly jokes.

This list is certainly not inclusive of all of the things I love, but it does include some things I've been thinking about recently 

This Valentine's Day was a little unusual for me because I'm actually dating someone. Adam and I went to Koko's Lunchbox for dinner and ate some delicious Korean food. Then we went to the dollar theater and saw Fantastic Beasts (for the third time because I love it). Then we just talked at my house for a little bit. I had told Adam not to get me anything because I know money is tight for him. But he got me some roses and dark chocolate anyway, and I think it is so sweet! What a sweetie! 

I will say that I did miss some aspects of my traditional Valentine's days, which typically include eating and playing games with friends. I may lean slightly on the introvert side, but I love spending time with friends immensely, and I miss friends. However, that being said, tonight was a dream, and I love spending time with Adam. He brings me joy. 

And even though it's now technically over, happy Valentine's Day, friends! I love you lots! 

Januaries

Does anyone else find themselves getting irrationally irritable and cranky in Januaries? It's a mostly consistent thing for me. And it doesn't get too bad most years, but it's just annoying. 

I'm trying to do lots of things I love this month though and get lots of sleep and exercise! I hope these things will help. But if I seem a bit more prickly than usual to anyone this month, I truly apologize. I'm certain it will pass as the days get a bit lighter. 

Also, there are two awesome birthdays on the last day of January! My mom and the Adam. And I asked for that day off work to have a fun day. I'm excited! I can do this! 

2016

I know some people have had a really rough year, and I wouldn't say it was perfect for me, but the year was really full of a lot of great things for me! Here's a recap of my year!

*Note: This may be really long, but I don't really care because it's more for my own sake than for anyone else's!*

January

I feel like I hardly remember January. It was so long ago! Here are some things I do remember though:



I went tubing with my wonderful friend Danielle early in the month. It was so much fun, and I don't see her much, so it was fun to hang out with her. I'm so thankful she invited me!

We celebrated Ian's birthday! (As a side note, he might hate me for this picture, but I don't have a better one.)

I visited the new Provo City Center Temple (just a block from my house)! I went on at least one winter walk, which was kind of lovely. I went on a few dates, two of which were with Adam. We celebrated mom's birthday. 

February

February was spent in both icy places and the beach. Early in the month, I went to the ice castles with Jordan, Renae, Josh, and Kyle. I had fun, but I know some in our group were not loving the cold. We celebrated Jordan's birthday with a Harry Potter birthday part, after which we hopped on a plane to go to a magical place. 

 

Orlando! Harry Potter Wizarding World! The Beach! Disneyworld!

  

 

It was magical! I loved it so very much. 

March

In March, the weather started getting better, I ate some great food. I did a painting with work. I started dating Adam, and I went to Portland! 

I went to Portland for the ACES conference for work, and that was fun and informative, but I also tried to explore as much as I could while I was there. 

April

In April, I went to the Thanksgiving Point gardens, went to the zoo with Camilla and her kids, and saw Parachute and Jon Mclaughlin.

May

May the weather got even better and many more outdoor adventures began! 

I went to the Living Traditions Festival, Cami's wedding, hiking, Scera. 

June

June started out with birthday celebrations! Jordan and I went up to Bear Lake and went camping. The rest of the month had hiking and nature and farmer's markets and scera shows and chalk art festival and the olympic ropes course in Park City. It was a great month!

July

In July I went to Stadium of Fire to see Tim with my mom. Then I had a magical fourth of July! I went on a ward campout that was beautiful and fun. Academic meetings for work happened. I went to a concert in Park City with my parents. At the end of the month, I headed to my favorite place of Jackson, WY!

August

Jackson was amazing! I love my family and the beautiful outdoors! I went to Bear Lake with my family. Joel and Abbie had a beautiful and fun wedding reception. I took Adam to his first rodeo. I celebrated dad's birthday with him. 

September

At the end of August through early September, I had a ton of fun concerts. I saw Dixie Chicks and Kacey Musgraves and Boys to Men. I love concerts!

For Nick's birthday, we celebrated up in the mountains, and the fall colors were beautiful. I went to the Harvest festival with Jordan and Adam. 

October

I went to California. This included a visit with my friend Ian and a visit to the beach. My mom and I went to Disneyland, and I got to spend a little time with my California relatives. I drove out there by myself, and I feel like it was a really good experience. I spent Halloween with my family, and it was mellow and fun. 

November

November included Kaylee's birthday, a Head and the Heart concert, a Jon McLaughlin concert, and Fantastic Beasts!! Thanksgiving was spent with my family and was nice. 

December

December has been a blast! I love Christmas time so much! At the beginning of the month, we had a birthday party for my grandma. We then all went up to temple square to look at the lights. I went to two Messiah Sing-Ins, which fill me with wonder and joy. I went to the aquarium with Adam, and we had a wonderful time. Christmas Eve, my family had a paint night, which was fun. And Adam came over on Christmas, and the family opened gifts, and we had a nice relaxing day. The day after Christmas, Adam and I went sledding. This week, we also went to the lights in Spanish Fork. I don't know what I'm doing tonight, but it should be fun, and I'm so excited! 

Summary

Parts of this year have been dull, but much of this year has been wonderful. I have many more things I could say and more pictures I could post, but I also want to go do things right now instead of write, so maybe I'll write more later, but for now, I'm off! I hope this coming year is full of wonderful things! 

Anne motivations

Back in October, I listened to the book of Anne of Green Gables on a trip to California. I relate to young Anne so much. I may not be quite as wild as her in my actions, but I certainly feel that my desires to be good are there but that I too can be stubborn with what I want. I feel like my moods and wants can be variable, and I'm not sure that I always make life easy for those around me. But with Anne, it's easy to see her good spots too. She sees the world in a beautiful way and loves people with so much of her heart. She is persistent and hard working. I do hope that some of these things might be true for me too, but I fear I have much to work on.

But I do long to be good. I want to be a good, kind, unselfish person. And when I fall short, it makes me sad. I find that it's harder for me in the colder, darker months to be forgiving and peaceful and to see the good in the world, but if I wish to be good, I think it would help me to see some of the good and take more of the good things into my life. For this reason, I think I might try to dedicate 2017 to more of the good things, things that bring peace and wonder and love to my heart. Some of these things include nature, books, relaxing time with loved ones, the temple, and writing. I find that I often want to go on adventures. And while adventures are great and grand and happy, the things that linger in my heart tend to be the softer moments. Some of these moments come from pursuing adventures, so the two are not mutually exclusive, but I find that making time for peaceful moments is crucial.

Rightness

I have been kind of stressed the past couple weeks. The new school semester started, and I got a new calling as first counselor in the relief society. So I've been busy and anticipate being busy a lot over the next few months. But Sunday I felt one of my favorite feelings. And I haven't felt this in a while. It was the feeling of being where I'm supposed to be in life. I love that feeling. It reassures me that things are going to work out. And throughout a lot of this week, I have been filled with a lot of peace. I especially feel that way today. I don't have much else to say, but I am happy with where I am right now. I love this time of year, and I love the people in my life. Life is pretty lovely.

As summer flies by

Oh right! I have a blog. I haven't written much on here lately, but I think that's ok. But today feels like a good day for spilling my thoughts out into words.

I've got a summer cold right now. It's been ages since I've had such a thing. It is leaving me in an odd combination of affectionate and emotional and exhausted.

This summer is flying by for me. Anyone else feel the same way? There are so many things I'm wanting to do, but I just haven't had the time to do them all. And I think, "what have I even been doing?" But it's not like I've been lazing about all summer. I have done so many things! And it's been pretty magical in a lot of ways! I also have a whole lot of things lined up for the next month and a half, so that is going to be good!

Since I last wrote, a whole lot of things have happened. I really don't want to make this a big deal, but I also know that very few read my blog, so I think it'll be ok, but I would say the most eventful thing that has happened in the last several months is that I've been dating someone. It had been 9 years since I had dated anyone. I've learned that I have (and had (because I think I've already worked through some!)) a lot of relationship fears that I didn't even realize that I had. Despite my fears and insecurities and occasional dramatics, this guy is really patient with me. He is really kind. He does so much for me, and I didn't even know that someone could be so good and kind. I have so much fun hanging out with him. He makes me laugh and likes to go do fun things with me. I think I could go on gushing for another three or four paragraphs, but I don't want to embarrass him or gross anyone out with gushiness, so I'll move on. I will say though that dating is a very new experience for me. Sure, I dated someone before, but I was still a teenager, and I would say I'm a very different person now. But I've quite enjoyed it.

One thing I haven't done much this summer but that I'm wanting to do more is swim! I love swimming! Luckily, I get to go swimming a bit this coming weekend, but I'll have to try to squeeze in some more before the end of summer!

I also went camping for the first time in years this summer. It has been a long time since I had camped, and I feared I wouldn't like it anymore. Fortunately, I LOVED camping! I would love to go again before the winter arrives. I'm hoping to explore Utah more this year, so I think I will have to do that!

Yuki Shave Ice continues to be a summer best friend. And yes, I go often enough that I am friends with the owner and employees. It's a party. It's just super delicious. It's shaved ice where they make their own syrups out of real fruit. It is the best.

I have not seen or talked to some of my friends as much this summer, and one of my best friends just moved to California, so this is all sad. I do feel immensely grateful for my friends though. A bunch of friends are getting married this summer, and I'm so happy and excited for them!

My ponderings about summer could go on and on, but I'm going to leave this for now to go do something. I hope anyone reading this has a fabulous summer! Summer is a wonderful time!

Boo to insecure days

So, here I am a grown adult, and I often will have days or stretches of days where I feel vastly insecure. My dear, sweet coworker often ends up hearing about my insecurities, and I so appreciate her kind listening. She reassures me and helps me feel like things are going to be ok. Unfortunately, she is out of town this week, and I also feel bad for always talking to her about this, so today this information goes to the blog.

I don't know if many adults feel this way, or if this is just something that I get to work on in life! But insecure days are not my favorite. I feel insecure about my ability to do my job well but also in my friendships. Fortunately, I have a wonderful family, and I never feel insecure about their love for me. On insecure days, I struggle with feeling like I can do things right, and I worry that I'm a bother to everyone. I even have dreams that feed my insecurity, like last night I dreamt that I was taking gifts to friends, and they were getting mad at me for bringing the gifts.

I generally try pretty hard to fight the insecurity. I try to keep myself busy so that I feel like I am being productive. I try to get enough sleep. I try to have fun with friends. I try to exercise (I'm probably not quite as successful at this one though as I could be). I try to be kind to myself. And I pray. Sometimes these things help a lot, but other times they don't help as much.

I also try not to let my insecurity show very much. I let a few people know, like my coworker, but I try to hide it from most others. I honestly have no idea if I'm very successful at this, but I am so grateful for the patience of my friends who I talk to and the ones I might act stressed around or stick to like a needy puppy.

I want to be a strong and confident woman, and some days I feel like maybe I am, but other days I feel completely derailed. Maybe insecurity is something that can help keep me humble though. And maybe it can remind me to be kind in case others are struggling. If that is the case, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. However, if anyone has any tips for overcoming insecurity, I will welcome those tips.

In general, I feel so grateful for the people in my life and for my job. Even on my insecure days, things go pretty ok because of the wonderful people in my life and because of my boss's belief in me. I am very blessed in my life, and I can't complain too much! And my current insecurity will hopefully be remedied by the vacation I leave for tomorrow! It's going to be wonderful!

Favorite Christmas things days 2 and 3--Caroling and friend gifts

Nope, I didn't manage to post yesterday because I was too busy with Christmas celebrations!

Yesterday I successfully went caroling for the first time ever unless I'm forgetting a time! As I suspected, I loved it! It snowed yesterday, so I was all bundled up with a bunch of people in my ward, and we had a great time! We sang Silent Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful, Jingle Bells, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Angels We Have Heard On High, Joy to the World, and We Wish You a Merry Christmas! I really like my ward. It was a lot of fun! And the snow made things exquisitely beautiful.

Also, over the past few days I've been delivering some gifts to some people, and it has turned into a lot of long and lovely conversations. Man I love people! I know I can give gifts at any time of the year, and I do, but it's nice to have a time of year where gift giving is encouraged, so I can have the chance to reach out to some who I haven't seen in a little while.

12 days of Christmas--Favorite things

There are 12 days until Christmas, and I am excited!

I want to post some of my favorite things about Christmas over the next 12 days.

The first thing I want to post about is Handel's Messiah. When I was young, my mom would participate in a community choir that would perform Handel's Messiah every December. We would go hear the choir sing, and we'd often go to the sing-in performance. This is where the audience can sing along with the choir on the chorus songs. It is glorious!

I participated for one or two years myself with my sister in the choir when I was in high school. It was a lot of fun, but those high notes and runs were definitely challenging.

For most of my college years and a few years after, I had kind of forgotten about those Messiah performances because they happened at the beginning of December before I headed back up home. However, three years ago, I remembered, and I really wanted to go. I invited some friends, and it was great fun. Over the past three years, I have gone to the sing-in performances, and this year I went to the one last Sunday up in Draper, but I also went to one on Monday in Provo. Is that overkill? No way.

Last year, Jordan and I went to a play called Joyful Noise that is about Handel and when he wrote the Messiah. It was amazing.

I don't feel I have adequately covered how I feel about this. Whenever I hear songs from Messiah, I smile. I feel like it's the epitome of joy. I think Handel was so inspired. When I hear the songs, I feel love and peace and hope and joy. Especially when I attend the sing-in performances. I just want to hug everyone in the world.

I love this time of year, and this year it gives me hope that maybe the world could be loving. Maybe there's a little something I could do to help.

Winter Plans

So, I'm not a winter hater, but I also sometimes struggle in the winter. But this year I've decided that I am highly excited, and I am writing a list of the things I want to do this winter! It's going to be amazing!

• Sledding
• Ice skating
• Cook at least 3 soups out of my soup cookbook and share with friends
• Cook one or two other new dinner recipes
• Bake lots of deliciousness
• Snowshoeing
• Star Wars!!
• Word nerd night (or 2)
• Provo temple open house
• Drink hot chocolate and herbal tea
• Read at least one book a month
• Visit Christmas lights
• Have a photo scavenger hunt
• Go to a musical performance or several
• Go to a play

Honestly, I don't even know if I'll manage to do all of these things, but they are things I want to do, and I am excited to do at least some of them! 

Mexican Quinoa with Butternut Squash

Oh hey there.

Today I had some veggies that I needed to use, and I decided to invent a recipe. It turned out pretty delicious, so I wanted to remember it! I figured that I'd type out the recipe here so that it would be easy to refer back to when I want to make this again in the future. I'm not a pro cook or anything. I just enjoy cooking and eating good food.

Ingredients

Quinoa
Half of a medium butternut squash
Bell pepper (Any color should be fine; mine was both red and green, and I got it from the farmer's market)
Anaheim pepper
Half an onion
2-3 small roma tomatoes
Coconut oil
Salt
Pepper
Cumin
Garlic Salt
Oregano
Water


Instructions

1. Cut up the butternut squash into approximately 1-inch cubes. I wasn't super precise with the size and shape, but I didn't want them too small or too big. Kind of bite size was what I was going for.
2. Dice the onion. I wanted the flavor of the onion more than the texture, so I diced.
3. Dice half of the anaheim pepper.
4. Cut the bell pepper into slightly larger pieces. I feel like these ended up being about the same length and width as the squash, just not the same depth since peppers are obviously not that big.
5. Put coconut oil into a large frying pan. I think I maybe put in about a tablespoon, but I'm really not sure.
6. Start cooking the quinoa in a separate saucepan according to the instructions. I used the suggestion on the bag of how much to make, which was 2 serving sizes, or 1/2 cup quinoa and 1 cup of water. 
7. Add the onion, peppers, and squash to the frying pan and start sauteeing over medium-high heat.
8. Add some salt, pepper, garlic salt, and cumin as desired. (I have no clue how much I used.)
9. While everything is cooking, take a minute to cut the tomatoes and mix and crush them with a little bit of water in a bowl. 
10. Add a little bit of oregano to the bowl with the tomatoes. (Is it weird to have oregano with cumin? The oregano flavor didn't stand out too much, but I liked having it in there. Other spices could easily be used instead though.)
11. Once the quinoa is almost done, turn off the heat. 
12. Add the tomato mixture to the frying pan and turn down the heat.
13. After a minute, stir in the quinoa. 
14. Add spices as desired.
15. Cook until you think things are good! And voila! Mexican quinoa! It reminded me of Mexican rice, but I'm not actually a big fan of Mexican rice, but I liked this a lot. I feel like you could easily substitute whatever you want into this--add more veggies, use different spices, etc. 

Like I said, I'm not a pro cook, and I'm just typing this out for my own benefit for future reference. But if anyone makes this, and it turns out terribly or wonderfully, let me know! 

Ramblings

So, I feel like my heart has been on the tender side lately. And by that I mean that I feel like I'm sensitive, but I also feel like beautiful things have been really touching my soul, and I've been marveling a lot. I kind of feel baffled and amazed when people are nice to me. I also have been needing a lot of sleep, but that may be entirely unrelated.

I recently reactivated my Provo library card. I was so excited! I didn't get there until an hour before they closed, but I renewed my card, then spent time wandering and picking up random books off the shelves and reading the backs (or the first paragraphs) to see if I wanted to check them out. I had forgotten how much I love libraries. I held off from checking out all the books, but it was definitely a temptation. Unfortunately, I haven't even had as much time to read as I'd hoped, but I'm going to finish at least a couple of the ones I checked out! 

School. This last week was probably on the same level of busyness between school, work, and other obligations as when I was doing my grad program full time. How on earth did I manage that schedule for four months? And the nearly-that-busy four months after that? I'm finding it really hard to make the time for school. I feel like I work, and then I'm so done with computers and sitting around. Oy. But I'm going to try to do better this week. 

I'm going to be an aunt!!!!!! Yep, that's right! My sister is pregnant! I am so excited! She is so excited! This is just going to be really great! April is going to be the best. And speaking of children, my cousin's new baby is adorable. She was born very early and is so tiny. I have been so happy to see my cousin and her family more over the last few weeks. 

I really like October, and I am so happy for it to be this month. I think I'm going to a corn maze with some friends in a week or two, and I went to a play of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow this week, and I went to an opera! And I'm just really excited for Halloween and all of the upcoming holidays. 

I feel like over the last year, I've become a little more selfish, and that is not something I want to be. So I'm really trying to love more. I feel like loving others has become harder for me than in the past. I used to give love so much more freely. But I think I was trying to protect my heart for a while there, so I wasn't giving much love. But I want to be a bit better and love a bit more. Isn't that the focus of life? At least, I think it is. 

I think life is pretty good these days. I'm trying to simplify so that I don't feel so stressed, and I'm trying to love and open my heart more. I also am remembering a lot of the things I truly love, and I'm trying to incorporate those things into my life more. Because I remembered a couple weeks ago that when I am feeling happy, I'm better able to look outward and love and serve others. I think it's a funny line to walk, the whole taking care of myself thing but also not being selfish. If anyone has any tips on that, I'm very open to them. 

Well, that's all I'll write for now. But, happy October, world!

Edit: Also, apparently this is my 100th published post! I've only had this blog for years and years, but 100 is still exciting, right!? 

One month at the new house

I wish I had pictures to share, and perhaps I'll add some later, but a month and a few days ago, I moved to a new home.

The reasons for my move were that my contract at my old place ended in August, and although my old place was large and lovely in many ways, it had been a rather hard year, and something new sounded kind of nice. My roommate and I had also learned that others living in our same type of place were paying much less than us. I also have been roommates with my friend Jordan for several years now, and I figured that it's nice having her around to hang out with, so I kind of wanted to be roommates with her. She's family.

So, when Jordan saw the ad for our new place across town, she wanted to check it out. It was the week of my birthday, and I was not thrilled to be house hunting. We came and checked it out, and it was this old house, but nothing was done on the inside. It had been all torn apart, and the owners would be renovating the house all summer. Somehow, Jordan decided she loved it. I wasn't so sure. I didn't know how it was going to turn out! And the room that I would be taking was much smaller than my last room, and it had a purposeful gap in the wall that connected to the next bedroom over. I was stressed about the decision, but I decided to proceed with signing the contract even though I had so many doubts and concerns. I prayed and felt neutral, and I figured that was better than feeling bad about it!

All summer as Jordan and I would drive by the house, it didn't look like a whole lot of progress was being made. This added to my stress about whether this was a good decision. Then our moving day was pushed back by four days, but moving day still came quickly, and off I went to my new, renovated home.

A couple things weren't 100% done, and as I started moving things into my new room, I had no clue where I'd fit my things, and I felt like I'd be so claustrophobic in the much smaller room. Panels had been put between my room and the next room over, so I didn't really have to worry about the wall gap. But I was still feeling like this place was too fancy for me, and maybe I wouldn't fit in with the roommates because it was so nice and fancy.

It took me a week or two, but I have come to really love this house. My new roommates are so lovely and cool and down to earth and talented. I like them a whole lot, and I'm so excited to get to know them better this year. We already talk more than I talked to most of my roommates who had been upstairs with me last year. I acclimated rather quickly to my room, and rather than feeling claustrophobic, I just feel so cozy and comfortable. I love the upstairs sitting area, with the comfortable chairs and the sun shining through the balcony door and the hummingbird picture. I love the sound of rain on our roof and all the character of the house with its squeaky floorboards and doors. I love our doors to get in the house. I love the old mixed with the new.

I'm embarrassed to say that I'm not completely settled in yet. I have a couple boxes in corners that I'm still trying to figure out where to put their contents. And I still worry a bit that things are too nice for me. But despite my wanting to be done with unpacking and my slight worries of fanciness, I am feeling so comfortable here. This house is beautiful, and I feel so fortunate and blessed to be here. Maybe some people will find this description weird, but this house has a better feel to it. It's more cheerful than my last place. I feel more content here. And I'm sure life will continue to bring its tests and hard times, but I feel so much more ready to face the challenges.

Favorite Food Sources

What? I'm writing two days in a row? This doesn't happen often, but you know how some activities don't necessarily always sound that cool, but then once you start doing them, you feel hooked? (But then sometimes other things get in the way and you stop doing them and forget again?) Well, that's how I get with reading and writing sometimes. And laser tag. Except laser tag always sounds cool.

So, I feel like for most of my life, I've been a pretty big fan of food. Food is so good! A few years ago, a dear friend and roommate of mine participated in a CSA program with me. CSA stands for community supported agriculture, and basically how it worked was I paid a whole bunch of money to this farm in Draper, and then every week for several weeks (I can't remember if it was 8 weeks or 12), I'd head over to the farm and pick up a bunch of vegetables and sometimes fruits that had been grown on this farm. This was a lot of fun and helped me be healthy and helped me learn about some new veggies! I love fruits and veggies! But getting food from a farm was a lot of fun. Everything tasted so good and fresh. I would love to do CSAs on a regular basis, but, they're kind of pricey, and as a single person, it's kind of hard for me to eat all the food in one week. I mean I am sure I could, and there is variety, but I like to eat some other things too. But I do try to get good produce when possible, which leads me to my list! I don't really have a significant reason for writing this list, but I just wanted to write about my favorite places to get food. Obviously, food from a garden is ideal. It's just so good! But these are other places that make me happy to buy food! I'm including several types of things because why not!?

1. The farmer's market!  I am a huge fan of farmer's markets! I love the atmosphere! I love the vendors! I love the food! I am so happy to be back in farmer's market season. November through May are tragic months. 
2. Sprout's  Sprout's is a grocery store that tries to sell healthier food. Some people I know don't like to shop there because they feel it's expensive, and some things really are, but they also have some of the best sales on delicious, high-quality produce out of any other grocery stores I've seen. I got a carton of blueberries the other day for something like 68 cents. And I believe I got a highly delicious mango for 50 cents. Sprout's is good.
3. Costco  I think Costco holds a nostalgia factor for me. I mean, I feel like I went there almost every week growing up. Some of their produce isn't always the best, but some of it is wonderful. I love brussels sprouts, and the kind that Costco has is usually the small kind, which is my preference, and the price is great! And sometimes raspberries get cheap, and it's awesome! Also, this isn't produce, but Costco sells brie cheese for the best price. Mmm, brie. 
4. Pizzeria Limone  This is my favorite restaurant. It is so good. I like pizza, but I wouldn't say it's my favorite food at all. However, this restaurant, man. It has pizza with blackberries on it! And a pizza with egg on it! It might all sounds weird, but it is tasty.
5. Yuki  I talked about Yuki in my last post. Go there! Just do it now! It's the best! 
6. The Orange Peel  Smoothies are like heaven. At least, to me. And Orange Peel has the best smoothies. 
7. Lots of other restaurants and places!  Ok, so, like I said, I really love food. There are probably about 15 more places I could put on here. Some I can thin of right now are Cupbop, Gourmandise, farm stands on the side of the road, and Cubby's. I also really highly enjoy cooking and baking. And to be honest, homemade food beats out restaurants in nearly all cases. 

FOOD!!

Recent happenings

I should be sleeping, but I feel this longing to read or write, and writing is going to win out since I'm not loving the book I'm reading.

Independence day this year was on a Saturday, which meant I had a long weekend because I got Friday off. It was an awesome weekend. I went to Freedom Festival, made smoothies with friends, went swimming at a reservoir, went to a movie, went to the parade, went to Colonial Days, and went to Stadium of Fire! And on Sunday, I went home and ate with my family and watched some hilarious old home videos. I spent time with a bunch of friends and ran into an unexpected friend at the parade. It was seriously one of the best weekends of my life. I loved it so much. I love my family and friends!

So, my friend told me that there was a podcast that went over every chapter of Harry Potter. This is totally up my alley. Harry Potter-related things make me happy. I didn't look into it for a long time, but I like to do things I enjoy on my lunch break, and one day this week, I decided to start listening to the podcast on my lunch break. It makes me laugh. I don't agree with everything the guys say, and sometimes it's weird, but, yeah, it makes me laugh! If anyone is interested, it's called The Chapter Titles Were So Good. Happy.

This week hasn't been too extremely eventful. But I did have a test on Tuesday, and today I figured it would be fully graded, and I checked, and I got 90 out of 90! What!? Sweet! And tonight was fun.

Jordan and I have been going to Yuki a lot. Yuki is the bomb. If people don't know what it is, it's a shaved ice place where the syrups are homemade, made out of real fruits and herbs and vegetables. Oh how I love it! Everyone should go! Do it now!

Hmm, other thoughts from recently . . . I feel like the summer is going by really quickly, but there are so many things I want to do! I really want to go to a baseball game. I also want to go camping.

Also, people are really cool. I was talking to an old friend the other day, and people are just really cool. And sometimes life is hard. So, kindness is the best thing.

Ok, I suppose I'll go to bed now. I do have work in the morning. So, that's all for tonight!

June Highlights

Oh, well, hello! I haven't written on here in a little while. I mean, I did start a few posts, but then I didn't get around to finishing and posting them.

So, as June is about to end, I wanted to write about some of my thoughts and events from this month!

June is one of my favorite months. My birthday is at the beginning of June, and I try my best to always make that a delightful day. This year was no different! This month has also been full of other fun and exciting summery things.

On my birthday, I went to brunch with Jordan at Bruges. I got a cinnamon waffle with raspberries and cream, and Jordan and I shared frites. The food was so good. I then went to go to the temple. It was an incredibly beautiful day, so I decided to sit outside the temple for a little bit to just enjoy the beauty of the day, and this sweet older woman came over and talked to me. She told me about some miracles that have taken place in her life, and she was so sweet and unique. I loved her. After the temple, I went to Costco. Now, that may seem like a boring thing to do for a birthday celebration, but I was there to buy something that I really love--flowers. Then I went to the BYU Museum of Art. I had been wanting to see the Japanese exhibits there for a while. It was lovely, as usual. I also gave flowers to people I saw, and that was a lot of fun. Some people were really weirded out, and it amused me. I went and read at the park for a little bit, and that was really fun and relaxing. Then, at 6 or so, my friend Taylor was picking me up to go get snow cones. We went, and then, she took me over to my friend's place, supposedly to just say hi, but really, there was a surprise party for me! I've always wanted a surprise party! Jordan was so wonderful to invite my friends, and I just feel so much love and gratitude for all my friends who took time out of their day for me! Man, I could go on for a long time about my birthday, but I'll conclude for now. I received presents and well wishes that made me feel loved, and I just loved it!

So, other things that have filled this month include Yuki shaved ice with Jordan a few times and also with Camilla. As Jordan said, you know it's a good life when the man who sells you snow cones knows who you are and chats with you whenever you come.

I saw Mary Poppins at the Scera, and it was incredible! I really loved the messages of the musical. I again heard a song from the musical this past weekend, and the line of the song has really stuck with me over the past few days--"Anything can happen if you let it." I can make things happen with my actions, and that is really empowering. Also at the Scera, Jordan, Renae, and I saw Sergio Mendes. He's a Brazilian musician. We didn't really know any of the songs, but it was still really fun.

I saw Diamond Rio with my mom. It was so great! I love them! It's like my childhood.

This past week/weekend, I went to St. George with my mom. It was crazy hot, like 115 degrees on Friday. However, we remedied the heat with Orange Peel smoothies and frozen custard and air conditioning and fun. We went to two different shows at the Tuacahn. I had never been there before. I seriously think that whoever envisioned the amphitheater was a genius. I love how the backdrop is the red rock. They didn't just build an amphitheater in the red rock area; they used the beautiful red rocks to be part of the amphitheater. We saw When You Wish and Beauty and the Beast. I honestly expected to like Beauty and the Beast better because it has a more structured story. However, When You Wish was one of the most fun things I've ever seen! It is a whole bunch of Disney songs all rolled up in one show. It made me so happy, and I'd probably feel open to seeing it 20 times. My mom is the best, and it was so fun hanging out with her there, and it was so kind of her to take me down there.

I also went to the pool a few times this month and went to the rodeo. I went to the SLC farmer's market and the Provo farmer's market. It's been a really fun month. I love summer!

Personality tests

Today at church I overheard some acquaintance friends talking about some personality test they had taken. I perked up at this conversation because I love personality tests. I could spend hours researching and learning about personalities from personality tests. I just think they're so fun and interesting. Some personality tests are more accurate than others. Some are better at describing personalities than others. The less good ones can still be fun, but the good ones are just amazing to me. 

And then I sometimes have this moral dilemma (that might actually be a dramatic thing to call it . . . ) about how I shouldn't think about it too much because I shouldn't limit myself to what personality tests say, and I also shouldn't stereotype people into classifications like that. However, I feel like personality tests can be taken and looked at with the realization that people have their own agency and experiences that can shape their actions and thoughts, but maybe some of the best personality tests can help us better understand, at least to some small extent, ourselves and others. I know that with some of the personality tests that I've taken, I'll read the description about myself, and think, "Yes! This is totally how I feel, but I just have never put it into words!" And I feel like that thought is one of my favorite things. Finding the right words feels like something powerful. 

So, yeah, personality tests are one thing on my long list of favorite things. I didn't have the chance to ask these friends what the test was, but I'll have to talk to them and take it!