Art

I always love the arts, but I don't always shout that love from the rooftops or anything. But lately my love of artistic things has me wanting to write poetry and music rather than prose. (Although literature is artistic too, so really I don't know why this is the case.)

I love the beauty that can be felt in hearing a heartfelt song. I love the beauty that can be felt at the closure of a well-performed play. I love the feeling at museums. I love art. I get such a thrill in experiencing art, and I usually leave with joy.

I love how observing art is a process. It's not a one moment thing. For example, when I go to BYU's Museum of Art, I often first look at the art. I take it in for one moment, but in the next moment I observe the details, then the whole again. However, after I continue throughout an exhibit, I often go back to the earlier pieces of art and look at them again. I think about the art as I go home and again and again after that.

I've heard Handel's Messiah many, many times in my life, but each time brings new thoughts and experiences. I love it.

Art is something that moves both my heart and my thoughts. Art is something I love.

What I want to do this month

I'm pretty sure December is my favorite month. Christmas is my favorite thing ever for basically three hundred reasons. There are so many things I want to do this month. 

For example, I'd love to 

• Listen to LOTS of Christmas music (already succeeding here!)
• Watch my favorite Christmas movies (It's a Wonderful Life, Elf, The Santa Clause, Rudolph, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, etc.)
• Give gifts to those I love
• Give gifts to people I don't even know
• Volunteer
• Get my room organized (not related to Christmas, but it's something I want to do)
• Go sledding (come on snow!)
• Help people know that they are loved
• See some lovely lights
• Do more decorating
• Enjoy the decorations
• Bake cookies and share them
• Spend time with people I love
• Sing Christmas songs

I fully intend to do as many of those things as possible. I think I'll do a lot of them, and they'll make this month even more wonderful! 

However, the thing I love most about Christmas is thinking about Christ. I love Christ. I truly believe that his birth is something to be celebrated and to be happy about. Because he was born, I am who I am today. He is the gift. I hope this month to remember Christ better and be more like him. And really, not just this month but always. 

Favorite time of year!

Today marks one month until Christmas!

I love Christmas! I love the lights, the music, the cheesy movies, Santa, the increased focus on giving and loving, the time with family and friends. I love the focus on Christ.

I am pretty sure I have more to say about this favorite time of year, but it can wait. For now I'm just feeling happy that it's nearly December.

Amazing smoothie

So, I've been craving smoothies lately. Lots and lots. Even though it's cold.

So for lunch today I decided to make a smoothie. And it is so good! I didn't measure things, so I don't have the precise recipe, but I wanted to write out what I did so that I remember. Also, I never understand why people must put sugar in their smoothies. Fruit is sweet and wonderful and sugary on its own. Who needs additional sugar!? Ok, I'll be honest, I love sugary things. But I just feel like it's very possible to make amazing smoothies without sugar.

So, here's the recipe:

Simple and Amazing Smoothie

Ingredients:
Plain greek yogurt- A few big spoonfuls (I would imagine it was about half a cup)
Frozen strawberries- Probably about a cup or a little less?
Frozen mangoes- Probably about 3/4 cup
Frozen banana- half
Water- maybe a cup? I just added it in gradually to give the smoothie enough liquid to blend (Maybe that's weird to add water, but I didn't have juice, and I kind of didn't want to add any other flavors)

Blend!


If I had any spinach in the fridge, I probably would have tossed a small handful in too. But that would have maybe changed the taste, and it's kind of amazing as it is. I'm sipping it and feeling really happy!

On Grace and Setting Goals

So, sometimes I get these ideas of things I want to do in my life, and I get really excited about them. I think, I should write this down and make it a goal! And I fully intend to make this cool thing a goal. (As a side note, I often get this goal-setting motivation on Sundays. Church does that for me--motivates me to become a better person.)

So anyway, I start trying it, and then it starts feeling hard, or I feel like I can't do it perfectly, and I give up. Goals are intimidating to me; I feel like I have to do them perfectly. I have been thinking about goals because I set two this month that feel important to me. I haven't written them down yet because that makes them feel official, and then What if I FAIL!!!!!!???? Basically, I think I'm scared of failing.

But then this morning, I was thinking about how even if I set these goals and try to do them, aren't I accomplishing more than if I don't even attempt the goal? The answer is yes. With the goals that I have for this month, I hope to do them every single day, but if I mess up and miss some days, I'll still be doing things that will be beneficial on the days that I do complete the goal. I think it's probably ok to be imperfect in accomplishing my goals. I still will progress at least some. 

Interestingly, I decided today on my lunch break that it had been a while since I'd listened to a past BYU devotional and I randomly decided to read this talk: His Grace Is Sufficient. In this devotional, Brad Wilcox talks about how in life a lot of us feel like we have to live life perfectly or else we have completely failed. But then he talks about how that's not how it actually goes. Because of grace, we can keep going and keep trying. It's like learning to play the piano. We have to practice to become good at playing. We're not just going to magically be able to play the piano perfectly. I want to go over the talk a couple more times because I feel like this concept is something I really could better comprehend.

It was pretty lovely that this morning I was thinking about how I need to not worry about failing at goals and how working on goals will still help me progress and then I came across this talk. I like it. 

So, with one of my goals, I don't want to share it quite yet, but the other goal I will now share. So, I read about this great thing where you collect all your spare change in the month of November up through Thanksgiving and then donate that money or the equivalent of what was collected, and I'm going to do it! I think I'll do half through Pioneers of Peace and half through Community Action Services in Provo. Over the past few months, I have learned a lot about poverty and hunger, and I feel so blessed in my life. There are so many people, so many children, even here in Utah, who go hungry on a regular basis, and I just feel so sad about this. I want to help, but it's hard to know how. And I am a huge fan of donating food to the food bank, but they also have the resources to make donations go so much farther than I could. So, this is one of my goals for this month. I know I can't statistically change the world, but I want to do this out of love, not statistics (see Elder Holland's wonderful conference talk). 

Ten Most Influential/Inspiring/Important Books That I Have Read

My wonderful friend Camilla tagged me in a post where she listed her top ten books and asking me to do the same. I told her I wanted to do it, but that I needed to think about it. After thinking about it for a month, I still am feeling like I'm forgetting some things, and that bothers me, but here is my list as I can think of it now:

1. Harry Potter series- I'm pretty sure about 90% of people who know me know that I love Harry Potter. My friend Camille asked me one time why I love them so much, and I had a really hard time explaining it. But I think I had a hard time explaining it because it has a lot to do with emotions, which are never easy to put into words. I feel like lovely miss Rowling has a lovely way of writing. I feel like when I read the Harry Potter books, I was able to feel so immersed in the world, and I was able to connect so much with the characters. Sure, the books are directed toward children, but they are books that I can go back to again and again. I feel like they have so many relatable situations. I love how there is humor and sadness and anger and difficulty and happiness and hope, just like life. 
2. Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls- I don't remember how old I was when I read this book. I think it was somewhere around the 4th grade though. And I remember sobbing like a baby. I think it was the first time I'd ever cried like that because of a book. I loved realizing the power of books.
3. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson- Yes, a self-help book. Ok, here's the thing. I feel like every year for Christmas, I'd ask for books, and every year for Christmas, my parents would get me self-help or church-related books, even though my parents knew I loved fiction. I don't know if they even realized that they did this. However, my mom is a huge proponent of the library, so maybe that is one reason for their gift-giving decisions. But anyway, one year my parents gave me this book, and honestly, this book has had a huge influence on my framework for thinking. A lot of the information is fairly common sense, but I really like the way the author puts it. 
4. Way to Be! and Standing for Something by Gordon B. Hinckley- I think my friends maybe said church books were against the rules because obviously they are inspirational and influential, so that's why I combined these, to maybe be less cheaterish. But anyway, these books both really taught me the values of kindness and hope and education. I love them. 
5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss- My siblings and I read this together every Christmas Eve. I really love Christmas, and this is just such a classic Christmas-type story. 
6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee- How un-unique of me to love this book. I don't even feel like I love this as much as others, so I feel unfair claiming this on my list, but I do feel like this book opened my eyes to things I hadn't thought about before. 
7. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson- My love of this is much like my love of Harry Potter and Where the Red Fern Grows, but I think this was one of the first books that taught me how fragile life is and that taught me how important friendships can be. 
8. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitgerald- So, I read this in high school, and I enjoyed it, but I reread this book last year, and I realized that I didn't understand half of that book back then. But when I read it this last year, I realized that it is beautifully written. I wish I could write beautifully like Fitzgerald. 
9. Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare- I always have heard people in life saying they don't understand Shakespeare, and I'll be honest, I don't really understand them. I mean, sure, early modern English is different than modern English, but learn a little vocabulary and etymology and spend a little time reading to get to know it, and the works of Shakespeare are so interesting and clever and not all that hard to understand. Study a little extra too and you'll get even more meaning out of it. That's one thing I love about Shakespeare, the layers of meaning. And Much Ado About Nothing holds a special place in my heart. We did the play in 6th grade. I played Hero, the female character with the second most lines and who the story basically revolves around. I'm not going to lie, but I was pretty proud of myself. It was proobably hilarious. I was probably a cocky little 6th grader pretending to be this fantastic actress. But the play introduced me to Shakespeare plays and sonnets, so, it's pretty great that we did the play. 
10. Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli- So, this is a children's book, but I only read it a year or two ago. A really close friend of mine told me that I reminded her of Stargirl. My confused stare surprised her, and she told me that I must read Stargirl. She let me borrow it, and I loved the sweet story. Also, I discovered what a compliment it was for my friend to say I'm like Stargirl. I hope I'm at least half as caring and kind as Stargirl. So, now sometimes I look to Stargirl for inspiration! 

Runners-up- These are other books that I have LOVED in my life and/or have really impacted how I view things

• The Egypt Game
• Oedipus Rex (I know everyone hates this story because it's kind of messed up, but it's sort of a beautiful tragedy when you think about it.)
• Chronicles of Narnia
• Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry
• Daphne's Book or another book by Mary Downing Hahn
• The Alliance
• The Farthest Away Mountain
• The Importance of Being Earnest 
• The Work and the Glory series
• The Jewel Book series (not necessarily classy books, but they helped solidify a friendship that made middle school so much better than it would have otherwise been)

I feel like there are 20 others that I have simply forgotten. I feel like all books, even the silly ones influence my life. Yes there are some that are more influential, but I feel like they all help me see other ways of life, and I love that. I love reading. I should make more time for it. 

Writers

So, I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but there are so many times when I read a book or an article or someone's blog, and the writer seems so deep and profound and cool, and I feel inadequate next to them. How did so many people get to be so amazing? Some of these people are younger than me too. How can I be amazing like that?

I don't necessarily feel like I'm profound or cool or the most fantastic writer on the planet. However, I do enjoy writing. I like trying to put my thoughts and feelings into cohesive statements. I do wish I were cooler and seemed deeper, but I also am just trying to be happy with where I'm at and who I am. Maybe one day I'll be able to write something that helps someone feel something powerful. But maybe not. And maybe that's ok.

So, I do not have a smart phone, and for the most part, I actually like it that way. However, there is one thing I do not like. I've noticed lately that there are things where if you show on your phone that you have "liked" something on facebook, you can do or receive certain things, but if you don't have a smart phone, you're just out of luck.

Similarly, I want to start going to some classes at the rec center near me. I went and looked up their class schedule, and it said to register for classes on the app. And then it gave a website where you could also register. However, the website didn't work. I even called the rec center asking what to do, and the person I spoke to was not very helpful. She gave me the web address and a similar web address, but I was on my computer and tried it all and nothing worked. I asked if I can just show up to classes, and she said yes but that I might not be able to get in if it's full. It just makes me sad. I don't think everyone should be expected to have a smart phone. I know I'm in the minority of all my friends, but I still don't think it should be expected.

Mini-rant ending now.

Quick Thought about a Favorite Story

So, as was mentioned in a previous post, I love Les Miserables. I think it's such a beautiful story. But for the last little while, I've been wondering why Victor Hugo includes all of these deep and beautiful and tragic human relationships, but then the love story between Cosette and Marius feels shallow and cliche. I'm not done with the book yet (I know, I know . . . . I am taking my time), so maybe it gets deeper in the book, but even still, that relationship confused me. However, as I was thinking about some of the themes of the story this afternoon, I had this thought: maybe the story needed to include examples of all kinds of love. Fantine had romantic love, but then that guy turned out to be a major jerk. And the story has beautiful friendships and parent-child and leader-follower relationships. But the story needed an example of the sweet romantic relationships that can exist. And, of course they take work, but they can be beautiful. And the inclusion of this relationship makes the story feel more complete to me now. It makes me love it even more.

I Believe in Jesus Christ

I never want to be preachy or do things that push people away. I do not want people to feel that I am pushing them to believe what I believe, but I do want to share my beliefs. I want people to know that I believe in hope and that I believe that hope and love and joy and peace come through Christ.

This week I have felt such an overwhelming love of Jesus Christ. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So, I would also be called Mormon. I have been trying so hard over the past little while to be a better person, to be closer to my Heavenly Father. I have been trying to be diligent at scripture study and at prayer and at being kind and giving and at really doing what I feel like God wants me to do. It's amazing how such a little effort on my part can bring such an overflow of beauty to me. It reminds me of a quote that's on my mom's fridge. I can't find the wording that her quote says, but it's essentially the same as this from Melvin J. Ballard, "A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return." I feel like my small efforts have brought me closer to God and helped me feel of his love for me and see his hand in my life. It's incredible. But I don't really want to really talk about that right now. I mainly want to talk about my testimony of Jesus Christ.

I often get the song "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" stuck in my head, more the lyrics than the tune. The words so reflect how I feel about Christ. I especially love the first part: "I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!" I do know that my Redeemer lives, and here is why it gives me comfort and joy: I believe that the atonement of Jesus Christ is real, and because of the atonement, I can become better and I can put my failures behind me. I am often a major perfectionist. I sometimes become stressed out if I can't do things perfectly, or I worry that I am not making the most perfect decision possible. When I feel so stressed and worried about doing things perfectly, it immobilizes me. But the atonement of Jesus Christ gives me strength. I know that God is helping me in my life, and I know that if I do have a terrible failure, I can come back to God and to Christ, and I can be redirected. And because of the atonement, I can repent. And when I repent, it's as though my failure is gone. It's like starting fresh. When I remember Christ, I become remobilized. I feel like I can move forward.

I do not have a perfect understanding of things, of Christ, of the gospel, of so, so much. But I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know that when I am closest to the gospel, I feel extra support and strength. I feel this ability to move forward that I struggle with when I am not as close to the gospel. There are certainly days or weeks when I doubt, but there are other times when I feel Christ is so close. As I learn more of Christ and of the gospel, I am filled with peace--my stresses feel manageable, my future feels more hopeful, and I feel more happy. Sometimes those feelings don't even come right away, but if I keep trying to be close to Christ, they eventually come.

"I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!"

Wonderful Summer

Oh hey there, blog! Long time no write.

Basically, I've been busy with a fun summer of lots of adventures and an online class and a move. It's been really great!

Hmm, I'm trying to think of some of my favorite parts, but I honestly don't know. I loved the rodeos and the time with my family. I loved the trip to Texas and the Lagoon trip. I loved going to the food truck roundup and also going to get snow cones. I loved the hiking trips and the demolition derby.

Probably my favorite part was the part that's always my favorite part, my trip to Jackson Hole! Jordan was able to join me in Jackson for a little bit. I loved having her there! It was really weird because Kaylee and Chris couldn't come to Jackson this year, and we did miss them a bunch! We still had a lovely time though! I love the beauty up there in northwest Wyoming. I tell people that Wyoming is my favorite state, and they think it's so strange. But every year, I feel so much peace and hope and energy up there in Wyoming. I feel so at home there. This year we saw a bird show and watched Sharknado 2 and went paddleboarding as some newer things. It was a really great time!

Oh! What are these tears!?

Do you ever have a time where you just cry at everything? Happy, sad, amazing, beautiful, etc.? I actually used to cry pretty easily, but now I don't so much, but then about a week and a half ago, I started just crying or almost crying about everything. It's quite the surprise.

But I don't really feel like it's a terrible thing. I'm pretty good about not letting it show, so it doesn't embarrass me too much. And it's kind of hilarious sometimes since I've actually been so stoic for the past one or two years or so.

Yesterday was particularly tearful. I learned that a friend who I've become really close to in the last couple months is going out on a mission, and really soon. A selfish part of me was sad because I'll miss her, so I had tears about that. Another part of me was just so amazed at how great and impressive she is, so I had tears about that too. Church was really beautiful, so I had tears there. I also just kept feeling like God definitely helped me be in my ward and with certain people in my life for a reason, so, tears. I kept feeling so blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people, and it made me have tears.

Random side comment: I'm not really saying "had tears" to be euphemistic. I just kind of consider "crying" to be where it's more constant. Although I suppose a couple tears in my eyes or falling down my face is still crying, but I see them as having slightly different connotations!

So, back to this amazing people thing. I seriously know so many cool and incredible people! I have kind and loyal friends. I have the best family. I am seriously blessed. Sometimes I wish I could just meet every person ever. I think people are so cool, and even though there are people who make me feel uncomfortable or who I don't want to spend every moment with or who frustrate me, I love meeting people and trying to understand them. I love trying to see different perspectives. I love seeing how people do things differently. People are cool and beautiful. And apparently that makes me cry.

Kindness

Kindness is one of my favorite topics. I love being kind. I love talking about being kind. I love when kindness happens. President Monson's talk in general conference last month included some things about kindness, and afterwards one of my best friends said she was thinking during the talk that I was probably loving it, and I was. The topic of kindness has also been popping up everywhere in my life lately, and I've been thinking about it a lot, so I just wanted to write out some of my thoughts on kindness.

I'm reading Les Miserables right now, and I love it. A whole crazy lot.

Les Miserables: Best story

I already have loved the musical for years and years, but as I've been reading the book, I love how much depth Victor Hugo gave the characters. You get to see so much about the characters that you come to understand the motivations behind their actions, and even though many of the characters make some rather poor choices or are rather unkind themselves, you have a sort of empathy for the characters even in making those choices. You see why they make those choices. As I've been reading and thinking about the story, I've thought that it would be a little easier to be kind if we could see the motivations behind people's decisions in real life. However, I really don't feel like we do have this view. Maybe in some cases we do have a fairly clear view, but we are not the other person. How can we understand their point of view when we have all of our own life experiences shaping our view?

I feel like sometimes it feels hard to be kind when I'm mad with someone or maybe if I just don't even think about it and am in a bad mood or tired or something. But being unkind just leaves me grumpy and hurts people. Unkindness does not seem to help people realize that they've made a mistake or help them improve. Unkindness just seems to make people defensive or hurt. And in situations of anger, is that really my job in life to be making a judgement on someone and whether they deserve kindness? I don't think so. I've always been taught to be kind, and I have a personal mission to help people feel peace, hope, and love. Unkindness is not going to help me accomplish that goal.

I don't feel like I'm even conveying what I'd like to convey here, but this is what I feel: It is not my job to judge or be unkind. It is my job to be kind. It is my job to love. God will take care of the rest. I do not know what another person is going through right now or what a person's life has been like, even if I think I do. I'd rather be kind and leave people feeling at least the same as when I met them than be unkind and leave people feeling worse than when I met them. And some people really can seem to just dismiss unkind comments. However, why would I even take that chance.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin was one of my favorite apostles. I don't know if that's really what people should do, choose favorite apostles, but oh well, I did. I love him. He gave so many general conference talks on kindness.

I really love his talk The Virtue of Kindness. I would recommend that anyone read it. I love the way he teaches. When he was alive, I had a professor at BYU ask which talk was my favorite in general conference at that time, and I said Elder Wirthlin's. My professor was surprised. He said that he usually didn't feel like Elder Wirthlin's talks were the most interesting or exciting, but I loved them.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught said, "Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have, if only we are kind?" I love this. We never know when it's a day when someone needs a kind word or a little bit of help. I want to be a little bit kinder. And more than that, since I know that I know how to be kind, I want to make sure I do things that help me be kind, like getting enough sleep. This is my plan.

Choosing to see the beautiful

So, over the past few weeks, thanks to Heavenly Father's inspiration through a priesthood blessing and a visit to the temple and other study, I know that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. And that doesn't mean everything will be perfect because that's not how life goes, but I think that what it does mean is that it's ok for me to seek for happiness. I also have had so many people around me who have not been happy, and it makes me feel bad to be happy in front of them, but this knowledge that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy makes me feel like it's also ok for me to choose to be happy, even if nobody around me is choosing to be happy. And maybe by trying to be happier myself, I can help them be happier too.

As I've been thinking so much about happiness, I've been thinking about how I want to be someone who sees the beautiful, someone who can look at a dry desert and see the cool cactus or the beautiful symmetry and color in the world. I want to be someone who sees a person who is maybe a little strange, and sees how they have amazing talents and gifts. There have been times in my life where I think I've seen the world this way, but it felt very natural. But now I think, I need to choose to see. Even though it takes more work, I feel so empowered to know that I can make this choice. I can choose to see the beautiful. And I will. This is my goal.

So what does this mean for me? What am I to do when people around me are complaining or being negative? I know that they are loved and their thoughts and concerns are important because they have value, but maybe instead of embracing all of the negativity in my own heart, I can see how these concerns can help us make things better. Maybe I can see how maybe there's something good within all of the messiness. Maybe I can see how these wonderful people in my life are trying their best in their lives.

One thing that I've always loved is when people are performing a musical number at church and they mess up. That's kind of a ridiculous thing to love, right? But I just love it. Almost always, these people are trying their best to make the church meeting better, to help the members in the congregation feel the spirit. Or maybe they're just trying because they were asked to. Any way they are trying, I just find it so endearing and heartfelt. It always makes me think about how we aren't perfect, and that is why Christ came to help us. That is why we need to rely on the atonement. And I just think that this reminder and the wonderful way people are trying is so beautiful. I want to be and feel this way about other things. Rather than focusing on how something is bad, I want to focus on how things are wonderful. Does that mean that I'm ignoring problems and allowing things to become stagnant when change could make things so much better for people? I hope not. Maybe I'll need to find a balance as I go. But I do know that I need to make this choice to see the beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I'll be able to see how things can be changed to become even more beautiful. By seeing the beautiful, I think I will be able to help bring more happiness to my life and then to the lives of those around me.

This is the me I want to be: I choose to see the beautiful.

Happy!!

Today I wanted to listen to music that made me happy! Below is a list of the songs I chose to listen to, and this is not to say that there aren't others that make me happy too. These just popped into my head this morning as songs that made me happy!

• Happy by Pharrel Williams
• Compass by Lady Antebellum
• Can't Stand the Rain by Lady Antebellum
• I Run to You by Lady Antebellum
• Wake Me Up by Avicii
• You Can't Stop the Beat from Hairspray
• Without Love from Hairspray
• I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes
• Could It Be by Charlie Worsham
• Just Wanna Be with You from HSM3 
• Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
• My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
• Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips
• Chattahoochie by Alan Jackson
• Unbelievable by Diamond Rio
• Wrinkles by Diamond Rio
• Norma Jean Riley by Diamond Rio

I hope everyone has a happy day!

April General Conference 2014: Day 1

This weekend is General Conference weekend. If you don't know what that is, it is held twice a year, and it's 5 sessions of beautiful music and uplifting talks given by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm fortunate to be able to watch it on tv, but some people go to church buildings or read the talks later. I always love conference weekend!

That was a long introduction for not having much to say, but one thing I heard today has been sticking with me ever since I heard it, and I just wanted to put it in words. Elder Zwick spoke and said something to the effect that God cares about what I am thinking. Maybe one reason this stuck with me so much is this is something I actually have sort of thought a lot about this year. I used to feel like I should be kind of proper in my prayers, but now I feel like God already knows what I am thinking and wants to hear from me, so I can pray to him about anything. He really cares about every part of my life--not just some parts! This has made my prayers more meaningful. And I'm so glad that I had a reminder today to strengthen this concept for me.

What has brought me happiness this week?

I've been pondering happiness a lot this week. My roommate and I have been talking a bit about it too.

Although happiness is sometimes not as easy to feel as when I was younger, I feel like joy can often be found if I simply look around. Therefore, I wanted to talk about a few of the things that brought me happiness this week!

• Family: Last Sunday I went up to my parents' house and my whole family was there. It was the best ever. Ever.
• Friendship bread: On Monday, my friend brought me a loaf of friendship bread along with a bag of bread starter. I haven't had this kind of bread in years, but it is so delicious! I ate it slowly throughout the week and loved it. But also, I especially loved seeing my friend Kristen who brought it to me!
• Bad day kindness: I may have had a couple bad days this week. Work and school have been really stressful. However, on one of those days, I mentioned to a couple of my friends that I hadn't had a very good day, and they gave me hugs and invited me to hang out with them and were just so kind. 
• Texts from friends: Being invited to things or being asked what I'm doing tonight makes me feel so cared about. I feel like maybe it's a silly thing. But I know that my top love language is quality time, and I think that just knowing that people want to spend time with me makes me feel very loved. I also love when people text me. This week I got several invites and texts, and it made me happy!  
• Carpool: I mentioned my carpool on here at one point, but I think I managed to wake up for carpool all three days this week, and that was pretty happy, and I also really love my carpool friends. 
• Snow: It snowed during institute on Wednesday. I may have snuck out after learning about the snow and walked around in its beauty for ten minutes or so! 
• Realizations of answered prayers: This week I kept realizing that God answers my prayers, and I also kept hearing stories about God answering prayers. I know he hears and answers prayers. I love prayer!
• Psych: Happy and sad. Psych had the last episode ever this week. I liked how it ended though, so that made me happy. And I loved watching it with friends. 
• Spending time with ward friends: I got to see friends in my ward most of the days this week. I love them.
• Spending time with any friends: I got to see several friends this week. I love them!  
•  BOWLS FOR HUMANITY!: I was so excited for Bowls for Humanity, which is a really cool event where local students and local artists donate pottery and bowls to the Food and Care Coalition and then people can look at the bowls and buy them and eat soup. All of the money goes to charity. I was sad that the whole gang couldn't come this year, but I still had a lot of fun and perhaps spent more than I should have. (Oops! but I really loooove the bowls I bought)
• Music: On one of my bad days this week, I was in a really negative mood, but I had also been planning to audition for a local musical with Miss Lauren L that night. I so did not want to go. I just wanted to go to bed or something. However, after getting home from school, I started practicing for my audition. Singing and music helped pull me at least a little bit out of my negative feelings. Music makes me happy.
• Avatar: I really love Avatar the Last Airbender. When I can, I watch an episode before I get out of bed on Saturday mornings, and I was able to do that this morning! Nerdy, I know.
• Errands with Jordan: This morning my roommate Jordan and I went and got groceries, went to Costco, you know, everyday stuff. But it was really fun. It's not like we were being all energetic or anything, but it was just nice and fun. 

This list is actually longer than I thought it would be, and now I keep thinking of things that I don't want to leave out from the list. However, for the sake of sleep (since I need to go to bed), I will end the list here. Turns out that despite the highly stressful week, there is a lot of good and a lot of happiness that I can find in my life!

Something bothersome

So, I feel like I more often talk about things that I like on here, and I also really hesitate to share my opinion, but today I'd like to talk about something that's been bothering me.

Lately, I've been hearing something a lot--something about how people perceive things. I feel like a lot of people have been saying things like, I'm not one of those "perfect" [insert certain type of person here]. And maybe it shouldn't bother me. Maybe I should just ignore these comments, but whenever I hear people say things like this, I want to remind them that all of us are different and we have so much to learn from our differences.

All of us make mistakes. All of us have different strengths and different weaknesses. Christ lived a perfect life, but the things that I hear when people make these comments do not sound like people wanting to be more like Christ. These comments sound like people feeling like there is some perceived ideal that doesn't even exist that they are either happily different from or trying to become. I am pretty sure that anyone who would be considered to fit this mold would not agree that they fit the mold.

One of the things that I've studied about and that I really love is that everyone is different, and by using our different strengths, we can strengthen each other. I wish I could better describe how I feel about this concept because I think it is so incredible. People are given strengths and talents and gifts. However, people also have weaknesses. But if we work together and use our strengths to the best of our ability and work on our weaknesses and allow others to help in areas that we are weak, we can become so much greater, not only individually but also as a whole, as humans. We can teach each other. I've learned how to improve on some of my weaknesses by learning from others who have strengths in those areas. We have so much that we can learn from each other. We have so much that we can do and become if we work together and do our best.

I wish we could better see how people are so different and unique and talented in different ways. I think that it is possible for us to embrace our differences while still striving to become the best person we can be. I think that we are meant to be different so we can learn from each other, and I love it so much.

Mornings

As most people know, mornings are so not my thing. I'm trying, but I really struggle. I sleep through my alarms (yes, multiple), and then I have the hardest time with feeling optimism and energy in the morning, except maybe on Sundays (Sundays make me happy so I feel happy pretty quickly).

Some mornings, like today, I seriously feel like I can't focus on anything. I try to keep my eyes open and maintain focus and energy, but I just drift off into sleepiness or mindless distraction or personal daydreaming. It makes me feel bad to have so little focus when I really need to be focusing. Maybe I just need more sleep. I feel like there have been times in my life where I've been not exactly a morning person, but I've been more my optimistic self in the mornings, but that just has not been lately. It takes until midday for me to muster up much enthusiasm and zest for life.

Lately, I have some really great friends who have wanted to carpool with me to campus. It has made my mornings much better! Our carpool has only worked out a couple of times so far. I was sick a bit last week. And then I didn't hear my alarms this morning, and I woke up to my friend calling me asking if I was ready to go. Oops! I felt bad.

However, I think this story goes to show how much I love people, but this semester I haven't had many people to talk to during the day. I work on my computer and sometimes IM people, but it's pretty quiet. I also don't really have many people that I get to talk to on campus. But seeing or talking to friends in the morning just makes me happier. I feel like it helps me wake up and helps remind me who I really want to be. Because honestly, I feel like people are the most important. I want to be someone who loves and serves people. Therefore, I'm feeling so grateful for my friends who wanted to carpool with me.

I am planning to keep working on being better at waking up. Maybe I should go to bed earlier. That might help. So I'll keep doing my best. And even if carpooling doesn't necessarily work out (but I hope it does), I like how we've been trying to do it because it's taught me more about how I can be a better me.