So, here I am a grown adult, and I often will have days or stretches of days where I feel vastly insecure. My dear, sweet coworker often ends up hearing about my insecurities, and I so appreciate her kind listening. She reassures me and helps me feel like things are going to be ok. Unfortunately, she is out of town this week, and I also feel bad for always talking to her about this, so today this information goes to the blog.
I don't know if many adults feel this way, or if this is just something that I get to work on in life! But insecure days are not my favorite. I feel insecure about my ability to do my job well but also in my friendships. Fortunately, I have a wonderful family, and I never feel insecure about their love for me. On insecure days, I struggle with feeling like I can do things right, and I worry that I'm a bother to everyone. I even have dreams that feed my insecurity, like last night I dreamt that I was taking gifts to friends, and they were getting mad at me for bringing the gifts.
I generally try pretty hard to fight the insecurity. I try to keep myself busy so that I feel like I am being productive. I try to get enough sleep. I try to have fun with friends. I try to exercise (I'm probably not quite as successful at this one though as I could be). I try to be kind to myself. And I pray. Sometimes these things help a lot, but other times they don't help as much.
I also try not to let my insecurity show very much. I let a few people know, like my coworker, but I try to hide it from most others. I honestly have no idea if I'm very successful at this, but I am so grateful for the patience of my friends who I talk to and the ones I might act stressed around or stick to like a needy puppy.
I want to be a strong and confident woman, and some days I feel like maybe I am, but other days I feel completely derailed. Maybe insecurity is something that can help keep me humble though. And maybe it can remind me to be kind in case others are struggling. If that is the case, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. However, if anyone has any tips for overcoming insecurity, I will welcome those tips.
In general, I feel so grateful for the people in my life and for my job. Even on my insecure days, things go pretty ok because of the wonderful people in my life and because of my boss's belief in me. I am very blessed in my life, and I can't complain too much! And my current insecurity will hopefully be remedied by the vacation I leave for tomorrow! It's going to be wonderful!
