2016

I know some people have had a really rough year, and I wouldn't say it was perfect for me, but the year was really full of a lot of great things for me! Here's a recap of my year!

*Note: This may be really long, but I don't really care because it's more for my own sake than for anyone else's!*

January

I feel like I hardly remember January. It was so long ago! Here are some things I do remember though:



I went tubing with my wonderful friend Danielle early in the month. It was so much fun, and I don't see her much, so it was fun to hang out with her. I'm so thankful she invited me!

We celebrated Ian's birthday! (As a side note, he might hate me for this picture, but I don't have a better one.)

I visited the new Provo City Center Temple (just a block from my house)! I went on at least one winter walk, which was kind of lovely. I went on a few dates, two of which were with Adam. We celebrated mom's birthday. 

February

February was spent in both icy places and the beach. Early in the month, I went to the ice castles with Jordan, Renae, Josh, and Kyle. I had fun, but I know some in our group were not loving the cold. We celebrated Jordan's birthday with a Harry Potter birthday part, after which we hopped on a plane to go to a magical place. 

 

Orlando! Harry Potter Wizarding World! The Beach! Disneyworld!

  

 

It was magical! I loved it so very much. 

March

In March, the weather started getting better, I ate some great food. I did a painting with work. I started dating Adam, and I went to Portland! 

I went to Portland for the ACES conference for work, and that was fun and informative, but I also tried to explore as much as I could while I was there. 

April

In April, I went to the Thanksgiving Point gardens, went to the zoo with Camilla and her kids, and saw Parachute and Jon Mclaughlin.

May

May the weather got even better and many more outdoor adventures began! 

I went to the Living Traditions Festival, Cami's wedding, hiking, Scera. 

June

June started out with birthday celebrations! Jordan and I went up to Bear Lake and went camping. The rest of the month had hiking and nature and farmer's markets and scera shows and chalk art festival and the olympic ropes course in Park City. It was a great month!

July

In July I went to Stadium of Fire to see Tim with my mom. Then I had a magical fourth of July! I went on a ward campout that was beautiful and fun. Academic meetings for work happened. I went to a concert in Park City with my parents. At the end of the month, I headed to my favorite place of Jackson, WY!

August

Jackson was amazing! I love my family and the beautiful outdoors! I went to Bear Lake with my family. Joel and Abbie had a beautiful and fun wedding reception. I took Adam to his first rodeo. I celebrated dad's birthday with him. 

September

At the end of August through early September, I had a ton of fun concerts. I saw Dixie Chicks and Kacey Musgraves and Boys to Men. I love concerts!

For Nick's birthday, we celebrated up in the mountains, and the fall colors were beautiful. I went to the Harvest festival with Jordan and Adam. 

October

I went to California. This included a visit with my friend Ian and a visit to the beach. My mom and I went to Disneyland, and I got to spend a little time with my California relatives. I drove out there by myself, and I feel like it was a really good experience. I spent Halloween with my family, and it was mellow and fun. 

November

November included Kaylee's birthday, a Head and the Heart concert, a Jon McLaughlin concert, and Fantastic Beasts!! Thanksgiving was spent with my family and was nice. 

December

December has been a blast! I love Christmas time so much! At the beginning of the month, we had a birthday party for my grandma. We then all went up to temple square to look at the lights. I went to two Messiah Sing-Ins, which fill me with wonder and joy. I went to the aquarium with Adam, and we had a wonderful time. Christmas Eve, my family had a paint night, which was fun. And Adam came over on Christmas, and the family opened gifts, and we had a nice relaxing day. The day after Christmas, Adam and I went sledding. This week, we also went to the lights in Spanish Fork. I don't know what I'm doing tonight, but it should be fun, and I'm so excited! 

Summary

Parts of this year have been dull, but much of this year has been wonderful. I have many more things I could say and more pictures I could post, but I also want to go do things right now instead of write, so maybe I'll write more later, but for now, I'm off! I hope this coming year is full of wonderful things! 

Anne motivations

Back in October, I listened to the book of Anne of Green Gables on a trip to California. I relate to young Anne so much. I may not be quite as wild as her in my actions, but I certainly feel that my desires to be good are there but that I too can be stubborn with what I want. I feel like my moods and wants can be variable, and I'm not sure that I always make life easy for those around me. But with Anne, it's easy to see her good spots too. She sees the world in a beautiful way and loves people with so much of her heart. She is persistent and hard working. I do hope that some of these things might be true for me too, but I fear I have much to work on.

But I do long to be good. I want to be a good, kind, unselfish person. And when I fall short, it makes me sad. I find that it's harder for me in the colder, darker months to be forgiving and peaceful and to see the good in the world, but if I wish to be good, I think it would help me to see some of the good and take more of the good things into my life. For this reason, I think I might try to dedicate 2017 to more of the good things, things that bring peace and wonder and love to my heart. Some of these things include nature, books, relaxing time with loved ones, the temple, and writing. I find that I often want to go on adventures. And while adventures are great and grand and happy, the things that linger in my heart tend to be the softer moments. Some of these moments come from pursuing adventures, so the two are not mutually exclusive, but I find that making time for peaceful moments is crucial.

Rightness

I have been kind of stressed the past couple weeks. The new school semester started, and I got a new calling as first counselor in the relief society. So I've been busy and anticipate being busy a lot over the next few months. But Sunday I felt one of my favorite feelings. And I haven't felt this in a while. It was the feeling of being where I'm supposed to be in life. I love that feeling. It reassures me that things are going to work out. And throughout a lot of this week, I have been filled with a lot of peace. I especially feel that way today. I don't have much else to say, but I am happy with where I am right now. I love this time of year, and I love the people in my life. Life is pretty lovely.

As summer flies by

Oh right! I have a blog. I haven't written much on here lately, but I think that's ok. But today feels like a good day for spilling my thoughts out into words.

I've got a summer cold right now. It's been ages since I've had such a thing. It is leaving me in an odd combination of affectionate and emotional and exhausted.

This summer is flying by for me. Anyone else feel the same way? There are so many things I'm wanting to do, but I just haven't had the time to do them all. And I think, "what have I even been doing?" But it's not like I've been lazing about all summer. I have done so many things! And it's been pretty magical in a lot of ways! I also have a whole lot of things lined up for the next month and a half, so that is going to be good!

Since I last wrote, a whole lot of things have happened. I really don't want to make this a big deal, but I also know that very few read my blog, so I think it'll be ok, but I would say the most eventful thing that has happened in the last several months is that I've been dating someone. It had been 9 years since I had dated anyone. I've learned that I have (and had (because I think I've already worked through some!)) a lot of relationship fears that I didn't even realize that I had. Despite my fears and insecurities and occasional dramatics, this guy is really patient with me. He is really kind. He does so much for me, and I didn't even know that someone could be so good and kind. I have so much fun hanging out with him. He makes me laugh and likes to go do fun things with me. I think I could go on gushing for another three or four paragraphs, but I don't want to embarrass him or gross anyone out with gushiness, so I'll move on. I will say though that dating is a very new experience for me. Sure, I dated someone before, but I was still a teenager, and I would say I'm a very different person now. But I've quite enjoyed it.

One thing I haven't done much this summer but that I'm wanting to do more is swim! I love swimming! Luckily, I get to go swimming a bit this coming weekend, but I'll have to try to squeeze in some more before the end of summer!

I also went camping for the first time in years this summer. It has been a long time since I had camped, and I feared I wouldn't like it anymore. Fortunately, I LOVED camping! I would love to go again before the winter arrives. I'm hoping to explore Utah more this year, so I think I will have to do that!

Yuki Shave Ice continues to be a summer best friend. And yes, I go often enough that I am friends with the owner and employees. It's a party. It's just super delicious. It's shaved ice where they make their own syrups out of real fruit. It is the best.

I have not seen or talked to some of my friends as much this summer, and one of my best friends just moved to California, so this is all sad. I do feel immensely grateful for my friends though. A bunch of friends are getting married this summer, and I'm so happy and excited for them!

My ponderings about summer could go on and on, but I'm going to leave this for now to go do something. I hope anyone reading this has a fabulous summer! Summer is a wonderful time!

Boo to insecure days

So, here I am a grown adult, and I often will have days or stretches of days where I feel vastly insecure. My dear, sweet coworker often ends up hearing about my insecurities, and I so appreciate her kind listening. She reassures me and helps me feel like things are going to be ok. Unfortunately, she is out of town this week, and I also feel bad for always talking to her about this, so today this information goes to the blog.

I don't know if many adults feel this way, or if this is just something that I get to work on in life! But insecure days are not my favorite. I feel insecure about my ability to do my job well but also in my friendships. Fortunately, I have a wonderful family, and I never feel insecure about their love for me. On insecure days, I struggle with feeling like I can do things right, and I worry that I'm a bother to everyone. I even have dreams that feed my insecurity, like last night I dreamt that I was taking gifts to friends, and they were getting mad at me for bringing the gifts.

I generally try pretty hard to fight the insecurity. I try to keep myself busy so that I feel like I am being productive. I try to get enough sleep. I try to have fun with friends. I try to exercise (I'm probably not quite as successful at this one though as I could be). I try to be kind to myself. And I pray. Sometimes these things help a lot, but other times they don't help as much.

I also try not to let my insecurity show very much. I let a few people know, like my coworker, but I try to hide it from most others. I honestly have no idea if I'm very successful at this, but I am so grateful for the patience of my friends who I talk to and the ones I might act stressed around or stick to like a needy puppy.

I want to be a strong and confident woman, and some days I feel like maybe I am, but other days I feel completely derailed. Maybe insecurity is something that can help keep me humble though. And maybe it can remind me to be kind in case others are struggling. If that is the case, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. However, if anyone has any tips for overcoming insecurity, I will welcome those tips.

In general, I feel so grateful for the people in my life and for my job. Even on my insecure days, things go pretty ok because of the wonderful people in my life and because of my boss's belief in me. I am very blessed in my life, and I can't complain too much! And my current insecurity will hopefully be remedied by the vacation I leave for tomorrow! It's going to be wonderful!